An inveterate negotiator, David Dweck asks for a better deal as a matter of habit, and he's often rewarded.
Dweck's dentist gives him 10 percent off. A Sports Authority clerk recently hooked him up with a 30 percent employee discount. And Dweck takes Home Depot coupons to Lowe's, and vice versa, and he finds employees routinely honor their rivals' prices.
Just about the only place Dweck doesn't ask for a discount is at his favorite restaurant in Boca Raton. But that's not out of a sense of propriety. It's simply because he thinks the food already is a great value.
"In this day and age, and in this economy, yes, everything is negotiable," says Dweck, a real estate investor and head of the Boca Real Estate Investors Club.
American consumers for years have negotiated prices of cars and houses, but we've found it unseemly to haggle over prices of smaller items. That seems to be changing. Emboldened by the Internet's treasure trove of once-secret pricing information and spurred on by the worst economic downturn in decades, we're suddenly demanding better deals.
"I think we're coming into a new age of haggling," says Greg Daugherty, executive editor of Consumer Reports.
A recent Consumer Reports survey found two-thirds of Americans had negotiated for better prices in the previous six months, and many scored with better deals. Still, haggling strikes many as unsavory.
"A lot of us are sort of shy about it, or uncomfortable," Daugherty says. "But more and more Americans are getting comfortable, and once they try it, more often than not they're successful."
And the more we haggle, the better we get at it, writes Michael Lee in the book Black Belt Negotiating. He notes that an 8-year-old from the Third World probably can out-negotiate a 50-year-old from the United States — because the 8-year-old has been haggling all his life, while the 50-year-old has barely learned the craft.
Consumers in developed nations tend to be reluctant to haggle, but those in poor countries view negotiating as a normal part of shopping.
"It's not genetics but simply a matter of time and money," Lee writes. "In non-negotiating countries such as the United States, time is a precious commodity but money is fairly plentiful, so to save time, people will negotiate only for the very largest purchases because it could save them a significant amount of money. In negotiating countries in Asia and South America, time is relatively plentiful but money tends to be scarce, and this gives people there the desire and the time to bargain for just about everything all day long."
In rich nations, just the word haggling conjures images of drawn-out negotiations full of wheedling, bluffing, cajoling and yelling. Who has time for that? But Consumer Reports' Daugherty says the typical negotiation consists of nothing more than a polite question.
"To us, haggling is quietly asking, 'Can you do a little better on this?' " Daugherty says. "It's not an angry confrontation. It's worth a try if you have a little nerve."
HERE ARE 10 RULES
FOR NEGOTIATING THE NEW AGE OF HAGGLING:
Rule 1: Be friendly and polite.
Don't be crass, rude or demanding when negotiating. Pushy behavior won't get you what you want.
"Pleasant persistence wears down resistance," Dweck says. "You're not going to get them with vinegar, you're going to get them with honey."
Rule 2: Leverage your loyalty.
Consumers are accustomed to being rewarded for loyalty by airlines' frequent flier programs. Apply the same concept to your own transactions. That's what Dweck did with his dentist.
"I said to him, 'I've been coming to you for 10 years, I'm not going to pay retail,' " Dweck says. "He gave me a 10 percent discount."
Rule 3: Don't take coupons at face value.
Bob Sullivan, author of the book Stop Getting Ripped Off, says he routinely asks clerks, "Is there a coupon I should know about?"
"I've been able to talk clerks into giving me coupons I didn't have, or honoring coupons that didn't apply to what I was buying," Sullivan said. "It's really just a matter of asking."
Or, as Dweck's grandmother used to tell him, "You don't ask, you don't get."
Rule 4: Build personal relationships.
"A great irony in our time of multi-gazillion-dollar corporations is that personal relationships matter more than ever," Sullivan says.
Say your bank hits you with a string of overdraft charges. You're likelier to get them reversed if the manager at your branch has chatted with you a few times than if no one at the bank has ever seen your face, Sullivan says.
Dweck parlayed this principle when he took a 10 percent off coupon to a friendly Sports Authority employee and asked if there was anything more he could do.
The worker gave Dweck a 30 percent employee discount instead.
"He didn't have to do that, but I'm nice to him, and he sees me in there," Dweck said.
Rule 5: Embrace rejection.
Sullivan frets that Americans have coddled themselves to the point that they can't handle even the minor setback of hearing no from a sales clerk.
"Everybody wants things to feel good all the time," he says.
Alas, if you ask for discounts, you'll sometimes be told no. Get used to it. And don't worry what the clerk or manager will think.
"You're not going to be the first person who's ever asked them if they can do better," Daugherty says.
Rule 6: Offer to pay cash.
Merchants hate credit card transaction fees, which can range from 2 percent for large retailers to 8 percent for mom-and-pop shops, Consumer Reports says. See if there's a discount for paying cash.
Rule 7: Avoid an audience.
Conduct your negotiations out of earshot of other customers, Consumer Reports says. Clerks are less likely to give you a deal when other customers are listening.
Rule 8: Keep an eye out for opportunity.
When competition comes to a previously monopolistic market, consumers gain power. Sullivan points to the example of paid television service.
First, satellite operators began competing with cable companies. Now HDTV signals can be captured for free with antennas, and Internet TV offerings have grown wider.
"This is a golden era for pay-TV watchers," Sullivan says. "For the first time, there's real competition. Boy, is your leverage better."
Use that leverage to seek a lower rate from your cable provider or satellite company. If you don't get it, drop your service and wait for a few months, when you'll be eligible for a new-customer discount.
Rule 9: Outsource your negotiating.
Still too embarrassed to ask for a better deal? The Internet gives you the power to wheel and deal from the anonymity of a keyboard.
Sites such as Amazon.com, Priceline.com, Hotwire.com, Hotels.com and Restaurant.com let you compare prices.
Rule 10: Sometimes it's OK not to negotiate.
Dweck so enjoys negotiating that he even worked a deal with the family's orthodontist. But sometimes, he says, there's just no point.
Dweck says his favorite restaurant, Saquella Caffe in Boca Raton, serves great food at reasonable prices and is always packed.
Where there's room to negotiate
