10 Ways to Invest in Friendships as a Busy Mom
Motherhood can be a full, busy, and sometimes lonely season. Early on in my mothering journey, I struggled to understand how I could feel lonely when I was surrounded by people. I needed friends with shared experiences to do life with, but life is full, and finding time for friendships can be difficult. I lamented that friendships would never be the same as they were before having children. While that is true, not all is lost. Friendship just takes a different shape in different seasons of life. Here are 10 ways that you can be intentional in your friendships to continue to grow in relationships, share life experiences, and be a good friend even in busy seasons.
- Invite friends over to cook and eat together
There isn’t any better way to invest in people than having them over to your home for dinner. There is just something about the cozy, intimate setting and bonding over delicious food to build relationships. We’re all happier with full bellies and a room full of conversation and laughter. But, how much of that are you getting in life right now? We are busy people, and we neglect these types of things because of all of the other things that we’re committed to. Maybe a dinner party feels like too much work for your current season, and I get that. But, if you feel the need for connection and friendship, then you are the one that needs to initiate it. So, let’s put Pinterest away. Let’s throw out all of the fancy ideas of what a dinner party should be, and let’s invite our friends into our real life to eat good food together. Your house doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be available. Let’s even throw out the idea of cooking beforehand. Invite your friends over to cook and eat! Great conversation happens while chopping veggies, flipping burgers, and washing dishes.
- Invite friends to things that you’re already doing
When you’re in a season where you can’t find a free window of time to invest in friendships, consider the things that you are committed to that you can invite friends into. Do you hit the farmers market every Saturday morning? Invite a friend to join you. Does your family eat Mellow Mushroom every Friday night? Ask another family to join you. Heading to Barnes and Noble next week for new cozy fall reading for everyone? Invite your friends! A good conversation can help build connections and relationships, and that doesn’t require a big event. Inviting friends to things that you’re already doing doesn’t require a lot of planning – just a little intentionality.
- Use technology – Marco Polo, FaceTime
There’s nothing like face-to-face time for quality friendship, but technology is so helpful to fill in the gaps when that time isn’t an option or is limited. For a busy mom, a quick FaceTime chat while washing the dishes can keep you invested in a friendship. Marco Polo is another wonderful tool for connection. Record a video for a friend, and they can watch it and respond when they have time. I love to hear about my friend’s week while staying up late to fold laundry.
- Send a handwritten note
Is there anything better than receiving a card or letter in the mail? Maybe it’s nostalgia because it’s so rare now. There is just something so thoughtful and intentional about someone taking the time to write their thoughts for you. This is an easy way to show love to a friend. Keep a stack of cute and fun stationary and some stamps, and jot down a thank you note, a fun memory, something that you love about them, or some encouragement. Stick it in the mail and brighten a friend’s day with just a little effort and thoughtfulness.
- Exercise together
Whether exercise is something that you enjoy doing, or something that you discipline yourself to do, invite a friend to do it with you. Everything is better with friends. This is one of my favorite ways to hang out with people. It’s a part of my day that is fixed – I know that I will get a workout in each morning. When friends have a similar routine, or are looking to establish one, bringing them into my workout is so much fun. It’s a time for us to connect, work hard alongside each other, and still accomplish an important part of our day.
- Celebrate birthdays
You know how adult birthdays are… just a Tuesday with a slice of cake. It’s a great opportunity to make our friends feel special. Program birthdays into your phone or write them on your calendar so that you don’t forget. Send an amazon prize, show up to their home or work with their favorite coffee and pastry, plan a surprise party or a fun dinner celebration, send a card in the mail, make a phone call. Don’t miss the opportunity to tell them more than Happy Birthday, but what you love about them and how thankful you are for their friendship!
- Accept invitations
When your friends plan something fun for you or want to include you in their plans – say YES! Prioritize your friendships and accept those invitations. Schedules are full, and there is always something to do, but as often as you can, say yes to quality time with your people. You will be so glad that you did, and those little time investments will add up over time to quality friendships.
- Coffee Dates
Grab coffee with a friend before or after something you’re already doing. Maybe early Saturday mornings before soccer, or Sunday afternoon while the family is resting. This can be quick and just a small time investment, but full of good conversation and quality time.
- Ask good questions
Be a good question asker. Invest in your friends by asking good questions, being a good listener, and caring about the things going on in their lives. Everyone needs friends who love them well and are intentional with caring for them in the good and bad seasons of life. You need that, too. Be the kind of friend that you want and need.
- Be genuine
Here’s the thing about people. We know when other people are being genuine and when they want to be around us. We know when they have ulterior motives or are checking boxes. Don’t be that friend. Commit to your friends in love and show them the real you – good and bad and whatever else you’re walking. Friendship is easier and more enjoyable when we’re all being genuine. These are the friendships that fill your cup and energize you for the rest of life. Be that kind of friend!
