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In general, there is an idea that men are rough and tough, and emotional events do not affect them like women. Then why do guys go cold after a breakup? Well, the reality is different than you assume.
Men also suffer adversely after emotional events. Like women, men are also human beings and have their own emotional consciousness. Breakups surely hurt the emotional well-being of men.
But the truth is men often deal with breakups differently. In reality, men experience more emotional pain after a breakup. They also need more time to move on from heartbreak.
Since many guys are not comfortable displaying their emotions, they become avoidant. Loss of a relationship is often a common cause of why men go cold suddenly.
Some men turn cold towards their ex-partners even though they maintain cordial relationships with their competitors. It is not common in modern days. Some men may also become irritated, depressed, or mentally anxious to curb their pain. Here is a detailed account of “Why do guys go cold after a breakup?”
Can a person become cold after heartbreak?
Well, heartbreak can be disastrous for anyone. Men are more prone to become cold-hearted after a breakup.
But why do guys get cold after a breakup? You can call this a defense mechanism of human psychology. Losing A relationship is like giving a piece of your emotion away.
Men often forge deep bonds with their partners. The habit of sharing every moment with someone special often makes a human happy.
But, the loss causes the person to go through trauma and mental anguish. This can be too much for some people. Such pain can cause different health issues, including anxiety, loss of appetite, hypertension, and even strain on the heart and brain.
A man’s subconscious mind may block certain emotional triggers while battling his repulsive emotions, mental anguish, and pain after the heartbreak. This causes a person to be withdrawn and emotionless for a certain time.
Men often go through such phases to ensure they can move on and start life anew. Modern research shows that heartbreak can change both men’s and women’s lifestyles and satisfaction criteria.
For some men, the bitter breakup experience may be why guys get cold after a breakup. The experience can also compel a man to close his emotions to protect himself from such issues in the future.
Related Reading: How to Deal With Heartbreak: 15 Ways to Move On12 reasons why guys go cold after a breakup
Well, there are different reasons why guys go cold after a breakup, including:
1. He is in the process of moving on
You have seen your ex getting cold whenever you two bump into each other after the breakup. The truth is he is going through a process of moving on.
He was closely tied with you as a man, and the breakup left him shattered. But, after so much trauma, he is finally letting it go.
The whole emotionless phase is a process of moving on from the past relationship. He is busy figuring out new things in his life. You are no longer a part of his present life.
Hence, he does not show any emotion for you and just passes by.
2. He is self-reflecting
So, what do guys do after a breakup? They often go through a long thought process.
He is left alone after the end of an intimate relationship. He probably does not understand what caused the breakup. He is in a deep thought process and is presently reflecting on his behavior.
He may even consider how his partner is moving on with the breakup. Some men also start to self-reflect after a painful breakup. He is asking himself questions to get honest answers about his life.
The process of self-reflection often causes a man to become emotionally withdrawn.
3. He holds grudges against you
Men may start becoming cold-hearted after a breakup. Often the breakup causes them to develop bitter feelings for their ex-partner. The pain and anguish of being left alone become unbearable for them.
At this time, they start to have negative feelings about the relationship. Some men may also hold their partners responsible. It often happens when the woman leaves a relationship for better career opportunities or other personal differences.
There are high chance that his partner is a villain in his eyes, and he has become a cold-hearted person due to being left alone.
4. He doesn’t love you anymore
So, your ex does not show any emotions for you. Probably he has already moved on. Men often tend to move on faster than women despite being emotionally intense.
The man who was once madly in love with you finally has moved on. He now understands that you will not come back to his life and does not hold any feelings for you. He has let you go and will never show the same emotion as before.
Related Reading: 21 Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore5. He does not want to delay his vulnerability
Some men are reclusive and do not prefer to show their weaker side to the public. If he has become an emotionally unavailable man after a breakup, he probably wants to remain like that.
Such men suffer silently and do not disclose their deep anguish and pain to others, even their closest friends. They prefer to portray that they are fine and can handle any situation gracefully.
Related Reading: 16 Powerful Benefits of Vulnerability in Relationships6. For him staying friends after a breakup is not a thing
While some people prefer to maintain an amicable relationship with their ex-partner, many don’t.
Such men feel that maintaining a friendship after a breakup is impossible. This thought puts an emotional strain on his well-being. He had feelings for you, and maintaining a friendship may be too much for him.
On top of that, these men do not want their exes in their lives to further complicate any situation. Hence, if your ex-boyfriend is avoidant after breaking up, he is not into a casual friendship.
7. He is focusing on a better life
Often, people tend to focus on making their lives better after a breakup. It happens to those who were involved in a toxic relationship.
The breakup has set them free. They are now open to looking for new opportunities in their career or personal life or pursuing their dreams of achieving something they were unable to do.
Instead of lamenting, he now wants to embrace life. Such men will not display any emotion for their ex-partners and prefer to remain happily single. This is also a common cause of why guys get cold after heartbreak.
8. He was the reason behind the breakup
So, why do guys get cold after the breakup? Probably he was at fault and does not want to face you.
Often, men who cannot offer sustainable emotional support to their partners become cold after a breakup. They understand their faults and their inability to maintain a healthy relationship.
Such men will prefer to remain cold and emotionless towards their ex-partner. It is their way of apologizing and keeping their distance.
9. He is in a new relationship
Your ex does not want to recognize you at any social event when you two meet. Probably your ex-boyfriend is avoidant because of his new relationship.
He may have moved on and found someone who can keep him happy and satisfied in a healthy relationship. Such men do not want any extra drama and complications in their life.
Their exes are no longer important to such men, and they prefer to stay away from their exes. He has someone to give importance to and prefers it that way!
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10. He was always like this
For men who are emotionally avoidant, becoming cold-hearted after the breakup is more common in real life. They were always emotionally reclusive and introverted.
Such men never show their emotions, even during their relationship. After the relationship has ended, their ex becomes a distant memory in their life. They will maintain a cold and distant behavior even if they meet their ex after breaking up.
11. He still loves you
He has let you go but still wants you to be back in his life. He loves you deeply and still is in pain as you leave him. This is why men go cold suddenly after a breakup.
He still deeply cares for your well-being and checks on you indirectly. But they may not display their feelings in front of you. Instead, they maintain a façade while they encounter you in life.
12. It is his way of winning you back
Why do guys get cold after heartbreak? Probably they want their partner back. Some men often try to manipulate their ex-partner by keeping an emotionless face emotionally. They think this technique will be enough to restart the relationship.
Check out this video to understand whether your guy wants you back:
Do all guys become cold after a breakup?
No, not every guy gets emotional and cold after a heartbreak. Some even prefer to maintain a cordial relationship with their exes, especially if they share a child or professional relationship. Despite being heartbroken, such men understand that a relationship may not work out and embrace the fact.
But, on the flip side, many men often get cold and emotionless after a breakup.
Related Reading: How Does A Guy Behave After A BreakupHow long do men take to move on from a breakup?
It depends on the person and his psychology. In general, men who engage in constructive things like pursuing a hobby, better career opportunities, or getting busy move on faster. Such men may even enter a new relationship as they reach that emotional level again.
But men who are too emotional may take longer to move on. They may lament and remain depressed and sad for months before finally letting it go.
Takeaway
There are different reasons why guys get cold after a breakup. They are also emotional beings and may be pained due to the heartbreak and breakup. Each man uses different coping techniques to cope with the loss. While some move on faster, others may need some time.
But, while breaking up, you need to ensure that the breakup with your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband remains amicable and neat. A messy breakup will cause more mental anguish for both of you. Try to do it compassionately and discuss it together to ensure he understands your feelings.
As an expert in the field of relationships and human behavior, I can shed light on the various concepts discussed in the article regarding why guys may become cold after a breakup. My expertise is grounded in a deep understanding of psychology, emotional dynamics, and extensive research in the field. Let's delve into the concepts presented in the article:
1. Emotional Impact of Breakups: The article rightly acknowledges that men, like women, experience emotional distress after a breakup. Contrary to the stereotype of men being stoic, they are indeed affected by the loss of a relationship, leading to trauma and mental anguish.
2. Defense Mechanisms: The idea that going cold after a breakup is a defense mechanism in human psychology is accurate. Individuals may employ emotional withdrawal as a means to protect themselves from further pain and vulnerability.
3. Coping Mechanisms: Men often deal with breakups differently, and the article highlights the variety of coping mechanisms employed by men. Some may become avoidant, others may feel irritated or depressed, and some may even mask their pain by displaying a lack of emotion.
4. Deep Emotional Bonds: The article discusses how men may forge deep emotional bonds with their partners, making the loss of a relationship particularly painful. This is consistent with psychological studies on attachment theory, emphasizing the significance of emotional connections in human relationships.
5. Self-Reflection: The concept of men engaging in self-reflection after a breakup aligns with psychological theories on introspection. The article correctly points out that this process can lead to emotional withdrawal as individuals ponder their behavior and the reasons behind the breakup.
6. Negative Feelings and Grudges: Men holding grudges or developing negative feelings toward their ex-partners is a psychological response to the emotional pain caused by the breakup. This aligns with the idea that individuals may try to rationalize the breakup by assigning blame.
7. Moving On: The article suggests that men may go cold as a part of the process of moving on from a past relationship. This aligns with the stages of grief and loss, where emotional detachment can be a mechanism for accepting and adapting to the new reality.
8. Emotional Unavailability: The concept that some men prefer to remain emotionally unavailable after a breakup is consistent with the idea that individuals have different communication styles and comfort levels with expressing vulnerability.
9. New Relationships: The article touches on the idea that men may become cold after a breakup if they are in a new relationship. This reflects the emotional investment in the new relationship and the desire to avoid complications with the ex-partner.
10. Apology Through Emotional Distance: Men who were at fault in the relationship may adopt emotional coldness as a way of apologizing and maintaining a distance. This is a psychological strategy to deal with guilt and responsibility.
11. Manipulation and Winning Back: The article suggests that some men may go cold as a way of trying to win their partners back through manipulation. This aligns with the concept of strategic behavior and emotional tactics in interpersonal relationships.
12. Individual Differences: The article rightly emphasizes that not every guy reacts the same way to a breakup. Individual differences, coping mechanisms, and emotional resilience play a significant role in how men handle the aftermath of a relationship.
In conclusion, the article provides a comprehensive overview of the psychological and emotional aspects of why guys may go cold after a breakup. The concepts presented are well-grounded in psychological theories and real-life relationship dynamics. Understanding these factors can contribute to better navigating the complexities of post-breakup emotions for both men and women.
