Here’s a bold statement: being yourself at work might actually be holding you back. Surprising, right? According to Ivy League psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, the age-old advice to 'just be yourself' isn’t just unhelpful—it could be career-limiting. But here’s where it gets controversial: Chamorro-Premuzic argues that authenticity, while celebrated, isn’t the golden ticket to success. Instead, he says, mastering skills like tact, self-control, and emotional intelligence will make you more employable and rewarding to work with. And this is the part most people miss: it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not, but about strategically adapting to thrive in the workplace.
Emotional intelligence, which Chamorro-Premuzic defines as the ability to understand and manage both yourself and others, is the 'fundamental currency' of professional success. In his book Don’t Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated (and What to Do Instead), he dives into why blending social skills, empathy, and awareness of others’ perceptions is key. So, what does this look like in practice? Here are the three social skills he says everyone should master—and why they matter.
1. Being Receptive to Feedback
Successful people don’t just accept feedback—they actively seek it, especially the kind that’s honest and critical. But here’s the catch: most people sugarcoat their feedback, so you need to ask the right questions. Instead of a vague 'How was my presentation?' try, 'What could I have done better?' or 'What would you have done differently in my situation?' Controversial thought: Isn’t it easier to just avoid criticism? Not if you want to grow. Chamorro-Premuzic emphasizes that staying composed while receiving feedback is crucial—lose your cool, and you might never get honest input again. 'It’s difficult,' he admits, 'but it closes the gap between how good you think you are and how good you actually are.'
2. Social Awareness
Being socially savvy isn’t just about being likable—it’s about strategically navigating workplace dynamics. Chamorro-Premuzic suggests focusing less on yourself and more on others. This means identifying and responding to their feelings without coming across as insincere. He calls this 'strategic self-presentation,' and it’s a game-changer. Thought-provoking question: Isn’t this just manipulation? Not necessarily. It’s about being attuned to others’ needs and expectations, which sets you apart in a world where most people are self-absorbed.
3. Adaptability
Sticking to your strengths is comfortable, but growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone. Successful people are willing to try new things, even if they’re uncomfortable. Here’s the counterpoint: Isn’t adaptability just code for changing who you are? Chamorro-Premuzic argues no—it’s about expanding your capabilities. Viewing traits like introversion or flexibility as fixed limits your potential. 'If you’re stuck in your past or present self,' he says, 'you’ll never create a richer, more diverse future self.'
So, what do you think? Is authenticity overrated, or is there room for both authenticity and strategic adaptation in the workplace? Let’s debate it in the comments. And if you’re ready to level up your career, consider this: stepping into discomfort today could open doors you never imagined tomorrow.
