While talking to a friend this week, I shared that sometimes I feel guilty knowing my kids make a lot of sacrifices because I choose to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Sometimes I worry about whether my older kids still appreciate the time I have with them even though it means they can’t do gymnastics or baseball. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m a very frugal person. I do my best to budget our money, but one thing I’ve learned to do well is teach my kids that managing money is all about making choices.
When you have less money, it means you have to make harder choices sometimes. Still, I know that we’re blessed and my kids were able to do basketball this year, as well as participate in Scouts. They’re also going to summer camp again this year even though this is the first year we’ll have to pay for it.
Living frugally has allowed us to have some luxuries while still working to pay off debt and build our savings. While I see how it affects our family as a whole, this is the first time I have really stopped to think about how it affects my children specifically.
Here are four of the major money skills living frugally has taught them.
Managing Expectations – Even adults struggle with this so for kids to learn how to manage their expectations is huge. So far, every time I’ve had to sit my kids down to discuss their options for summer camp or birthday parties they’ve been pretty great about listening to options without getting upset. We try not to set the bar too high and give them a few lower cost alternatives to choose from.
While I’d love to give my daughter the horseback riding birthday party she suggested after a recent outing with the Girl Scouts, she’s was pretty understanding when I told her that it’s just not feasible. She is good at helping to come up with some alternatives that fit in our budget that she’d also enjoy. This year, since we’ll be away on her birthday in August, we’re going to have a small party in September at a local frozen yogurt place that only charges $4 per person for all they can eat. She knows we’ll also do something special for her on her actual birthday while we’re on vacation.
2. Making Choices – Whenever I have to tell my kids “no” about something they want, I try to give them choices so it becomes something they have some level of control over. A few years ago when we started looking at summer camps I gave them a choice of Camp A for which our budget would allow them to go for one week or Camp B for which our budget would allow them to go for 6 weeks.
Instead of just telling them they were going to the cheaper camp, they came to the decision on their own. Honestly, if they wanted to go to the more expensive camp for less time I would have been ok with that too because we would still be spending the same amount of money. This way they came to the conclusion on their own that they wanted to go to the camp that would give them the most time. This is a skill they’re going to be especially grateful they have later in life.
3. Making Sacrifices – This one both makes me feel guilty and proud at the same time. It’s hard to hear your six-year-old son offer to fish two dollars out of his piggy bank for you when you tell him that you can’t afford something. It’s so amazingly sweet to see him willing to sacrifice something of his for the good of our family, though I always decline the offer.
It makes me feel guilty, but I know it shouldn’t. We all have budgets, even if the amounts vary family to family. He’s going to learn that someday so it might as well be now so it’s not a shock later. There will be things you have to wait for, work for, pray for and sometimes give up no matter how much money you make. I love his beautiful generous heart that offers up whatever he has to help out the family.
4. Learning to Wait – While cheerleading, gymnastics or baseball might not be in the cards this year, I often hear my children ask future oriented questions. They’ve learned to ask if they can participate in these activities someday or next year. I hope I’ve taught them that sometimes, “no” is for now and not forever.
We’re making great strides in our finances every year and I hope to get my daughter a few gymnastic classes for her birthday if we can swing it. They have also learned that new toys come on birthdays or Christmas and if they want something they ask for it on whichever occasion is closest.
I know that I need to remember that everyone gets told “no,” even adults. I’m teaching my children how to respond with hope and grace instead of frustration and anger. These are the major skills that will serve them well in adulthood.
Erin Johnson a.k.a. The No Drama Mama is the author of “So, You’re Broke? 18 Drama Free Steps To A Richer Life.” She can be found writing about faith, family, and frugal living on her blog www.thenodramamama.com when she's not wiping poop or snot off her three adorable kiddos. This “tell it like it is” mama has NO time for drama, so forget your perfect parenting techniques and follow her on Facebook or Twitter for her delightfully imperfect parenting wins and fails. Her work can also be found on The Huffington Post, Money Saving Mom, Mamapedia, Worshipful Living and Hudson Valley Parent magazine. - 0 comment
