Breakups: they knock us down and out, and just when we think we’re ready to stand up and get our life back on track, we find ourselves weeping to that song that we shared with our ex.
I’ve been there. You’ve probably been. Hardly any of us escape it.
So, how do we know when we’ve truly moved on?
That’s what we will answer today. We jump into seven signs that indicate you’re genuinely over your ex.
Let’s get to it.
1) You are no longer tempted to check their social media
We’ve all been there, scrolling through our phones, with a mix of curiosity and longing pushing us to check the social media profiles of our exes.
It’s a habit that can keep us tethered to the past.
As Clarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist and clinician, explained to Elite Daily, social media monitoring is a telltale sign of lingering feelings. It’s a way we unconsciously keep ourselves attached, living in a loop of what-ifs and memories.
But the moment you find yourself indifferent to their online life, it’s a significant indicator of emotional progress.
No longer feeling the urge to peek into their world via social media means you’ve moved past the need for validation or connection with that person.
2) You are committed to a new relationship
This one is pretty straightforward but important nonetheless.
If you can wholeheartedly commit to a new relationship, investing emotionally, and planning for a future together, it’s a clear sign that you’ve moved on from your past.
This is backed up by the experts. As therapist Tara Vossenkemper pointed out to INSIDER, reluctance to commit can be a major sign you are not over your ex.
On the flip side, willingness and readiness to embrace a new relationship shows emotional availability and a readiness to leave past relationships behind.
If this is the case, lucky you! You’ve taken a significant step towards healing and finding happiness again.
And never mind the naysayers; some research suggests that rebound relationships can actually be very positive and go the distance. What matters most is your emotional state and readiness to be in a new relationship, not the timing of it.
3) You no longer have a fear of being single
Starting a new relationship may be a clear sign we are over someone, but many of us don’t dive right into new relationships when we leave one. This doesn’t mean that we aren’t over our exes.
Actress Emma Watson once said, “I’m very happy being single. I call it being self-partnered.” If you find these words resonating with your state of mind, it’s a positive sign that you’re over your ex.
Studies have found that those who are comfortable being single often have less longing for their past relationships than those who fear being alone. This suggests that comfort with singlehood is a key factor in moving on from past relationships.
I can really relate to this one.
In my late teens, my high school sweetheart and I parted ways. It was my first serious relationship and one that lasted several years. Like many young kids, I had envisioned us being together forever.
But the relationship fell apart, as they do. I was lost.
However, over time, I realized that being single wasn’t something to fear but an opportunity to grow and understand myself better. The real breakthrough came when I finally felt okay just being by myself, enjoying my own company, and not needing someone else to complete me.
If you don’t know if you are okay with being single yet, you probably aren’t. You will know it when you feel it.
4) You have started to pursue new goals or hobbies
Are you finding yourself suddenly drawn to a new activity or goal?
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This shift towards new interests could be a significant sign that you have moved on from your ex once and for all. Research suggests that starting something new, in general, is closely linked with the process of getting over an ex.
When we’re in a relationship, especially a long-term one, our hobbies and goals often become intertwined with those of our partner. Post-breakup, rediscovering our individual passions or finding new ones can be incredibly liberating and healing.
It’s a way of redefining our identity independent of the relationship we once had.
5) You have let go of mementos of your ex
Remember that episode in “Friends” when having broken up Rachel gives Ross back his stuff?
If you happen to be part of our Gen Z, here’s a quick clip:
Anyway, it’s a scene that many of us can relate to. As noted by WebMD, when we’re not over our exes, we tend to cling to physical reminders of them.
These reminders can be anything from an old hoodie that still smells like them, a collection of photos from trips you took together, to their possessions that they left behind.
These items can become tangible links to the past, keeping us anchored to memories and emotions that might be holding us back.
Of course, getting over someone doesn’t mean that we have to erase them from our past. It’s about finding a balance. It means recognizing that while our past relationships are a part of our story, they don’t define our present or our future.
Being able to let go of mementos, however, is a practical sign you are over your ex.
6) You don’t feel the need to talk about them
One of the most common responses to a breakup is talking about our exes – a lot.
And it makes sense; it’s natural to want to vent, analyze, and rehash memories with your friends and family.
However, when you find you’re no longer bringing up your ex in every conversation or feeling the need to dissect every detail of your past relationship, it could be a solid sign you’re over them.
This doesn’t mean you never talk about your ex. They were a part of your life, and it’s normal for their name to come up from time to time.
But when their presence in your conversations decreases significantly, it’s a clear sign that you’ve moved on.
7) Your future plans don’t include them
Picture this: You’re daydreaming about a year from now, maybe you’re traveling to a new country, moving to a new city, or starting a new job. As you visualize these future scenarios, do they include your ex?
If the answer is no, good for you.
In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s natural for your ex to star in your future plans because they were a significant part of your life. However, as you heal and move on, your ex becomes less prominent in these visions.
When you can imagine a fulfilling, happy future without your ex, it’s a strong sign that you’ve begun to move on. This shows that you’re not clinging to the hope of reconciliation and are prepared to forge ahead solo.
The bottom line
Moving on from an ex is a deeply personal journey, and everyone’s experience is unique.
If you can identify with all of these signs, good for you!
If just a few, focus on the fact that you’re making progress toward healing and personal growth. Also, remember that it’s not always a linear process, and it’s okay to have ups and downs.
As always, I hope you found this post valuable.
Until next time.
