Late night phone calls, asking for help/favors, texting 24/7 — these are all signs your partner’s ex wants them back. Constant contact is a way to keep themselves top of mind and to keep your partner loyal to them in some way.
It’s easy for a kind person (like your partner) to be blind to this type of manipulation, so let them know why you’re concerned. Reiterate that you’d love for your partner to be friends with their exes, but in this case, it feels like the intentions aren’t pure.
All of that said, the last thing you want to do is allow negativity, paranoia, or bad feelings to seep into your relationship just because an ex is hanging around the periphery. As Wang says, “It's good to remind yourself that your partner chooses to be with you today and tomorrow.”
Sources:
Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and dating expert
Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, EdS, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist
Dr. Dana Wang, licensed psychiatrist and relationship expert
Lesli Doares, couples consultant
Davida Rappaport, relationship expert and spiritual counselor
Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist
Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW, psychotherapist
Dr. Racine Henry, Ph.D., LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist
Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, therapist
