Admitting our mistakes is a strength. Accepting mistakes is a superpower.
Admitting mistakes develops self-awareness, the ability to recognize our shortcomings, and allow ourselves to learn. We show people around us that we can suppress our ego and take responsibility for the areas we could have shown up differently. We build trust by acknowledging that we messed up. We demonstrate vulnerability to our team by showing that it’s okay to embrace imperfections.
Accepting our mistakes is where the true opportunity to learn exists. Here, we are left with ourselves to internally deal with the notion that we did something misaligned with our values and principles or made an error. We have the opportunity to harmonize accountability with grace. To put ourselves on the hook for learning but to let ourselves off the hook for guilt and shame.
It’s a simple choice: beat ourselves up over the mistake or accept it, learn from it, and most importantly, move on. It’s a straightforward concept but sometimes difficult to actualize because we tend to be our worst enemies.
At the end of the day, after the dust settles, we are only left with ourselves to internalize our flaws and decide how to look at them as a moment to learn or to degrade ourselves through endless ruminations. The former is where true change and reframes can occur. The latter likely amplifies the mistake into something larger than it is.
One of my favorite leadership/business books is Bob Iger’s, The Ride of a Lifetime. He is the CEO of Disney and has a very approachable, sensible learning style from the ups and downs of his experience. In his summarization of his lessons learned, he touches on this specific subject:
“Take responsibility when you screw up. In work, in life, you’ll be more respected and trusted by the people around you if you own up to your mistakes. It’s impossible to avoid them, but it is possible to acknowledge them, learn from them, and set an example that it’s okay to get things wrong sometimes.”
The encouragement to fail quickly that we all hear constantly in business and entrepreneurship is valid. However, it’s also important to take it a step further and discuss what happens between our ears when the external situation is past. A lesson learned only comes to fruition when we approach the same situation in a way that doesn’t reproduce the same mistake. That doesn’t happen unless we permit ourselves to look forward rather than hanging onto the past.
Leadership is hard. Entrepreneurship is hard. Running a business is hard. We make mistakes. Communicate it, accept it, learn from it, and most importantly, allow some grace along the way. Try to find a friend in the mirror instead of an enemy. If we can’t lead ourselves first, we struggle to lead others effectively.
Look inward to produce outward.
