Autistic Meltdowns and How to Avoid Them (2024)

An autistic meltdown is often mistaken for a temper tantrum, but they are different. Autistic meltdowns are cries of distress due to sensory or emotional overwhelm. Tantrums are emotional outbursts in response to unmet needs or desires.

To outsiders, an autistic meltdown can look like an oversized tantrum. While the signs are similar, the underlying causes are very different. Autistic meltdowns are often preceded by signs of distress or anxiety and commonly involve stimming behaviors, like repetitive rocking. Some autistic children elope (run away) or hide in a small, enclosed space during a meltdown.

What Is a Meltdown?

An autistic meltdown is an involuntary reaction to nervous system overload. The response is not behavioral, but an uncontrollable physical response to the intense emotions that take over.

In young children, an autistic meltdown looks much like a temper tantrum but can be more intense. After all, one of the meanings of the word "meltdown" is the catastrophic exposure of radioactive material in a nuclear reactor accident.

Autistic meltdowns are not age-related and may happen at any age. Older children, teens, and autistic adults can also experience meltdowns—even those who have low support needs (considered high functioning).

Early Warning Signs

Prior to a meltdown, an autistic person will often start to show signs of distress. These can be subtle, like biting their nails or asking to leave, or more obvious, like covering their ears with their hands.

It's important to be aware that these behaviors are a response to stress and/or sensory overloadand not a form of manipulation.Early warning signs include:

• Stimming: Stims (self-stimulatory behaviors) are self-calming techniques autistic people use to help regulate anxiety or sensory input.They are common in the build-up to a meltdown and can become more intense as the distress increases. Stims include rocking, pacing, humming, or finger flicking. Intense stimming such as high-energy rocking, slamming the hand into the forehead, or other obvious signs of agitation, can indicate a meltdown is imminent.
• Eloping: Also known as bolting or running away, eloping occurs when an autistic person, faced with overwhelming sensory input, anxiety, or stress, may run to escape the stimulus. Bolting may be a helpful coping mechanism but it can become dangerous when the child or adult is unaware of surrounding issues, such as oncoming traffic.

Signs of an Autistic Meltdown

A meltdown occurs when the brain goes into fight, flight, or freeze mode from overwhelming emotions. A person having an autistic meltdown may feel agitated, distressed, or overwhelmed, and may have difficulty communicating or regulating their emotions. This involuntary reaction cannot be controlled by the individual.

Autistic meltdowns vary in intensity and may include:

• Biting
• Crying
• Destroying property
• Foot-stomping
• Hitting
• Kicking
• Running off (eloping)
• Self-injury, such as banging their head, hitting themself, or pulling their hair
• Stimming
• Throwing and breaking objects
• Vocal outbursts, including yelling, name-calling, sobbing, or intense screaming
• Zoning out

Autistic meltdowns often last at least 20 minutes beyond the removal of the initial trigger.

After a meltdown, it can take a while for an autistic person to recover. Allow them time and space to regain emotional regulation.

In the aftermath of a meltdown, autistic people are often unable to recall the details of what happened. Avoid trying to discuss in the initial hours after the meltdown.

Preventing Meltdowns

Meltdowns can often be prevented by identifying triggers and recognizing the warning signs. Once it rises to the level of meltdown, though, it is difficult for an autistic person to calm down.

Recognize Triggers

Sensory overload is a common meltdown trigger. This can include lights, sounds, smells, and different textures (like tags on clothes or seams in socks). Emotional overwhelm and stress can also trigger meltdowns.

If you know your child's triggers, you can find ways to avoid them or make them more manageable. For instance:

• Use essential oils or air freshener to mask triggering smells.
• Provide noise-canceling headphones to make loud spaces more tolerable.
• Buy soft fabrics that fit comfortably.
• Provide sunglasses to block bright lights.

Heed the Warnings

Keep an eye out for the subtle signs of overwhelm and take action to eliminate the cause or move the child to a calmer space.

Signs of building distress include anxiety, irritability, and stimming behaviors. Older children may be able to verbalize they are getting overwhelmed. When you see these signs, take action.

For example, a child who is overwhelmed by the noise and light at a shopping mall may calm down quickly when taken outside.A child who is anxious about a social situation may need clear direction, reassurance, and support.

If an intervention doesn't occuror doesn't solve the problem, a meltdown is almost inevitable as the person becomes overwhelmed by their emotions.

Managing Meltdowns

When a full meltdown is in progress, it can be hard to manage. The best way to help someone during an autistic meltdown is to remain calm. Co-regulation helps by providing a safe, calming presence.

Each autistic person is unique, and there is no one technique that helps everyone. Calming tools you can try with your child include:

• Calming music
• A cold drink
• Compression
• A cozy blanket
• Deep breathing
• Dimming the lights
• Distraction
• Empathy and kindness
• A favorite stuffed animal
• Fresh air
• Pressure
• Punching pillows
• Rubbing their back
• Silence
• Skin brushing
• Textures
• Tight hugs
• Weighted blanket (for older children)

Safety, both for the autistic person and others in the area, is important. Bolting, hitting, self-abuse, and screaming can be particularly frightening and dangerous.

It may be necessary to move the individual to a quiet room until the meltdown is over. Sometimes, this may require more than one person to avoid injury.

Summary

An autistic meltdown is bigger, more emotional, longer-lasting, and more difficult to manage than a temper tantrum. Autistic meltdowns are genuine cries of distress, whereas tantrums are typically manipulative, where a child tries to get what they want by crying, screaming, or making a scene.

Meltdowns may be prevented by recognizing triggers and warning signs and taking action to keep the person calm. During a meltdown, you can help manage it by providing a calm and empathetic presence and trying different calming tools until you find ones that work.