It’s easy to be anxious about the internet. In just the past few months, Instagram has been called out for its negative effect on young women’s self image. TikTok has been criticized for massively promoting pro-anorexia videos to teens recovering from eating disorders. Meanwhile, extremist websites influence everything from vaccine resistance to the Capitol riot.
Yet, beneath the cloak of online anonymity, men may have discovered a safe space to be their true selves. Far from promoting violence and bullying behavior, recent research suggests that these online forums are shattering stereotypes. Instead of being the cold, unfeeling males still depicted in much of popular culture, these men seem invested in their romantic relationships. So what does the study say about gender roles–and do men handle break ups worse than women?
Big Boys Do Cry
The time-honored cliches about men not caring about their relationships, being emotionally unavailable, or unwilling to display their feelings has endured well into the 21st century. Do men conceal complex emotions because it’s in their nature to do so? Or do they learn at a young age that most of society is uncomfortable with such displays? When studies rely on traditional couples counseling to examine this conundrum and how it affects relationships, they must overcome an inescapable bias. That’s because their sample is primarily composed of people with the time, money, and willingness to participate in couples’ counseling.
Just as online political surveys can draw a more diverse and representative sample than traditional landline polling, by scouring online forums like Reddit an international team of psychologists led by researchers at Lancaster University was able to reveal some surprising insights about how men and women deal with problems in their relationships. Researchers harnessed the same type of “big-data” analysis that has driven studies on everything from diet to driving. As far as they know, this is the first time complex algorithms and key word harvesting software has been leveraged to analyze relationship problems.
