Your friend is onto something, though the requirements aren't as onerous as you might be imagining. There are two separate issues here:
- the likely requirement from your mortgage lender (assuming you're taking out a loan from a bank or similar institution) that you prove the source of your down payment money, and
- IRS gift limits and filing requirements (which will affect your parents more than you).
Let's look at both of those here.
Mortgage Lenders' Requirement of a Gift Letter
When you apply for a loan, the bank or other lender takes a close look at whether you'll be able to repay it. It takes into account your other debt, such as car loans and student loans. A substantial check from one's parents, for example, can make it look a lot like you're deeper in debt than you originally stated. But you can overcome that by giving your lender written documentation that the money is truly a gift, not a loan.
A simple letter from your parents is the best way to do this. But you should be the one to talk to your institutional lender first, about what information it requires in such a letter. This will probably include:
- the names of the gift givers
- their relationship to you
- the exact amount of the gift
- the purpose of the gift (for you to buy the house)
- the source of the gift funds (your parents' money market account, for instance), and
- an affirmation that your parents don't expect repayment and that this is therefore a true gift.
The lender might request that the letter writers have this document notarized, and that it be accompanied by proof of their current ownership of the funds in question.
IRS Requirement of Gift Tax Filing for Amounts Over Annual Exclusion
Gifts from one person to another do NOT give rise to any tax requirements if they amount to less than the annual exclusion. The annual exclusion in 2023 is $17,000.
It sounds like your parents are giving you more than that. But they might easily get around the limit by writing separate checks, so that each parent is giving you only half the total gift amount.
What if they wished to give you even more financial help? You didn't mention whether you were buying the house with someone else, such as a spouse, but if you were, and your parents feel so inclined, they could give up to $17,000 per parent to that person, as well. Basically, two parents could give their child and spouse/partner/friend up to $68,000 without hitting the gift tax exclusion for 2022.
If the amount your parents end up giving you is definitely more than the annual exclusion, they will need to file a gift tax return with the IRS. But they won't need to pay any actual tax at this point.
Eventually, after their death, they might owe gift tax; but probably not. Their cumulative taxable gifts would have to exceed the overall exemption, which is currently in the millions, though it's impossible to say what it will be by the time they pass on. (If their giving is at that level, they can definitely afford an accountant and a lawyer to handle this paperwork.)
To file a gift tax return, your parents would need to fill out IRS Form 709 and submit it by April 15 in the year following the year in which they gave you the money.