AKA Crib
Decks One. You also need a cribbage board or pen and paper
Players 2-4
Aim To be the first to 61 points, which is one trip up and down the board plus one
Difficulty 3/5
How to play
Many think of cribbage as an old man's game, and they're not far wrong. This may have something to do with the fact that crib has been around since 1630. And as you'd expect of a game knocking on 400, many variations have evolved. Between two and four players can play with anything from three to seven cards (go for five cards in a four-player). The two-player version is most common, so that's what we'll look at here.
Ace is low. Cut for deal (lowest wins), which then alternates. Each player gets six cards, then chooses and discards their worst two cards to make a "crib", or "box" - an extra hand of four for the dealer. Non-dealer cuts the pack and dealer turns the top card of the cut, or the "turn".
The next portion of the game called is "pegging". Each player takes turns to lay one card at a time on to their own discard pile, adding the face value of one another's cards each time, in a bid to score points. The most common way of scoring at this stage is trying to get two points for combinations adding up to 15 (eg J, A, 4; 6 and 9; 8 and 7), at which point you exclaim "15 two" to win your points. Players also score "multiples" (two points for a pair, six for three of a kind, 12 for four), "runs" (6, 7, 8, one point per card). When the total of cards laid reaches 31 (or as close as possible), pegging restarts and you count up to 31 again, or until all cards are laid down. The player who lays the last card scores one point - two if they bring the total to 31. You then use your cards to count up your points in the "show".
Most of your points come from the show, where you use your cards in combination with the turn card to score multiples, runs (one point per card, so A, 2, 3, 3, 4 gives 10 points: eight for two runs of four - one using each three - plus two for the pair), and two points for all combinations adding up to 15. You also get points for a "flush" if all the cards in your hand are of the same suit (one point per card) and an extra point if the turn card is also the same suit.
Finally, there's "one for his nob": if your hand contains the jack of the same suit as the turn card, you peg one for his nob. And if you're the dealer and you "turn" any jack, you get "two for his heels". Remember that the dealer always gets to add up their box after their own hand.
Both players move their pegs up (or down) the cribbage board by their respective scores. To avoid any potential disputes it's wise to peg points as soon as they are scored.
How to spice it up
Once you get the hang of the main scoring system, play cut-throat cribbage and apply the "muggins" rule: if a player overlooks any points in their hand, their opponent can shout "muggins" and peg the points for themselves.
Top tips
Never give your opponent scoring opportunities in pegging (by, say, leading with a five, since your opponent is likely to have a picture card and get 15 two.) Avoid putting good cards in your opponent's box. You should only consider giving them a seven, eight, or five if to do otherwise would destroy your hand.
How evil will I become?
Be careful: cut-throat cribbage has ruined marriages.
One for his nob - an ode to 'crib'
Life without cribbage is a life of gaps. Gaps in conversation, vacant stares in coach station waiting rooms, awkward sips of your great aunt's tea. Lulls in funerals. When in doubt, do as I do: whip out the cribbage.
There is no sphere of human activity, from jury duty to sex, which is not in some considerable way improved by cribbage. Who among us can say that they've been more than 20 minutes into a sexual encounter, however intense, and not wanted to remove the improvised ball-gag from their mouth and ask: "Shall I cut for first deal?" Unless - is this even possible? - you don't know how to play. Can it be? That you've never, you culturally impoverished person, had two for his heels on beer street? Never looked your grandmother in the eye and said: "One for his nob"? No? Ring Grandma this instant. You need lessons.
To understand cribbage, think of bridge, and then imagine a much, much less boring game. Crib has none of the petty swagger of poker; there is zero social aspiration involved, and yet I wouldn't blink at offering the Duke of Kent a quick hand. It is the most English game in the world, perhaps because it is one of the silliest. All the rigmarole - the arcane scoring, the insider language, the happy clutter of pegs and jargon - allows the game to spread out from the cards and up into the cracks of conversation.
Cribbage: as English as teen pregnancy. Scratch an Englishman and you will find a cribbage player. Scratch a cribbage player and you will be asked politely why you scratched them, then offered a game.
Charlie Skelton
