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Identify the root cause
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Communicate clearly and respectfully
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Set clear expectations and boundaries
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Monitor and follow up
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Seek support and advice
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Learn and grow
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Here’s what else to consider
As a leader, you may face situations where a team member challenges your authority, criticizes your decisions, or undermines your credibility. This can be frustrating and demoralizing, especially if it affects your team's performance and morale. How do you handle a team member who undermines your leadership? Here are some tips to help you deal with this common leadership challenge.
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- Herb Thompson Storyteller - Author - Green Beret - Cornell MBA
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- Olga V. Mack Non-Executive Director | Board Director | CEO | Digital Transformation Expert | Corporate Strategist | Governance…
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1 Identify the root cause
Before you confront the team member, try to understand why they are behaving in a disruptive way. Are they unhappy with their role, frustrated with the project, insecure about their skills, or resentful of your position? Do they have a personal issue, a conflict with another team member, or a different vision for the project? By identifying the root cause, you can tailor your response and avoid making assumptions or judgments.
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- Herb Thompson Storyteller - Author - Green Beret - Cornell MBA
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It may feel natural to get defensive or feel upset. However, take a breath and attempt to step back and understand the issue. Especially pay attention to what may be the friction point with this person. There are many issues to consider. Whether it be a personality conflict within the team, a mismatch of talent and task, etc., we can analyze the situation. Still, it’s always helpful to ask them politely and professionally what caused this issue.
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There is healthy conflict and there is toxic conflict. Healthy conflict is essential for effective leadership. It means people tell you things that are hard to hear. Healthy conflict pressure tests strategic decisions. If you feel 'confronted' whenever you're challenged by healthy conflict then you're not ready for executive leadership. Elizabeth Holmes didn't tolerate healthy conflict, for example. Unhealthy conflict is when people challenge you in order to hurt you. It's rooted in insecurity, self-preservation, and self-promotion. It can totally destroy a company. As a leader you have a responsibility to embrace healthy conflict, root out unhealthy conflict, and know the difference between the two.
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- Matt Hartley Senior Safety Support Specialist at Vercel | ex GitHub
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In my experience, the most important first step in identifying the root cause is to give myself space for self-reflection. Why do I feel that my authority is being challenged? What is "authority" in this context? Why do I feel criticized or that my credibility has been undermined? Is it because of my own insecurities or fears?Most of the time the actual problem is with my personal perspective of a situation and assumptions I make about what it means about me. Disagreeing with me or challenging my assumptions does make me feel uncomfortable. But, I own my discomfort. I find that if I continually give team members space to be authentically engaged in the work, and I choose not to take feedback personally, these scenarios are rare.
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Understanding the underlying reasons for a team member's disruptive behavior is a crucial first step in addressing the issue.By taking the time to identify the root cause, you can tailor your response in a way that is both effective and empathetic. Rather than making assumptions or judgments, you can approach the situation with an open mind and a willingness to listen and understand.Some team members may be unhappy with their roles or frustrated with the project, while others may be struggling with personal issues or conflicts with other team members. By identifying these underlying issues, you can address them directly and provide the support and resources that your team member needs to succeed.
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- Jaganadh Gopinadhan (Jagan) Associate Director - Engineering @ Cognizant | Trusted AI Advisor, Generative AI Strategist, AI Infrastructure, Cloud Engineering, AI Engineering, GenAI/AI/ML and Data Science
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This is the place where Emotional Intelligence plays a key role.- Identify the triggers for the behavior.- What would be my perspective if I were the associate? (Give the context and history.)Have a 1:1 conversation focused on understanding the triggering facts. Collect and analyze facts, and derive an action plan. - If it feels necessary, involve HR and have a conversation with the associate. The third-party perspective helps ease the situation and bring collaboration.- Align on the mitigation plan, act, monitor, and succeed as a team!
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2 Communicate clearly and respectfully
Once you have some insight into the team member's motives, initiate a private conversation with them. Use a calm and respectful tone, and avoid accusing or blaming them. Explain how their actions are affecting you, the team, and the project. Give them specific examples of what they said or did that undermined your leadership. Listen to their perspective and acknowledge their feelings. Try to find common ground and mutual understanding.
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- Herb Thompson Storyteller - Author - Green Beret - Cornell MBA
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No one likes these tough conversations. They can feel stressed and awkward. Set your ego and emotions aside, as they will not be helpful in these conversations. It does help to consider their feelings and viewpoints. Layout the problem as you see it and ask for their thoughts. They may not even realize they caused an issue. They may not like hearing about it but setting clear expectations is critical to long-term success and growth.
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Effective communication is key to addressing disruptive behavior in the workplace, and a private conversation is often the most productive way to initiate this dialogue.When approaching a team member about their behavior, it's important to do so in a calm and respectful manner. Accusations and blame are counterproductive and can make the situation worse, so it's important to remain objective and focus on the facts. By explaining how their behavior is affecting you and the team, you can help them understand the impact of their actions.Providing specific examples of their behavior can also be helpful, as it allows them to see the situation from your perspective and understand exactly what they need to work on.
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- Diya Banerjee Head of Social Media, World Health Organization (WHO) | Editorial, Digital Trends, Partnerships
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It takes infinite empathy and emotional fortitude to ignore your ego. A leader isn't a leader till they've mastered to speak outside their ego sphere. In a world obsessed with titles, if you feel undermined or humiliated - check in with your feelings first before reacting. Draw a plan of how you'll understand the crux of the problem and approach it with an open mind. Set firm guardrails and when crossed communicate immediately to the person and your own supervisor. Ensure that in each incident you're better and bigger than the issue and have a calm way to tackle those committed to make you look bad. And at most times, ignore. And continue on your own path with a learners mindset.
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Whether it's someone slouching and not listening during a meeting or actively flaunting standards, leaders must quickly resolve any situation that can be seen as undermining them. If leaders ignore a team member who undermines them, the problem begins to fester. The individual, seeing that they are getting away with it, will continue the behavior and may begin to push boundaries farther. The behavior also risks spreading to other team members. Your response has to be proportional, of course. While serious infractions could lead to some kind of suspension or dismissal, more minor issues should be resolved in a gentler way, either by speaking directly to the person or encouraging the team to ask why they aren't living up to the standard.
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- Jaganadh Gopinadhan (Jagan) Associate Director - Engineering @ Cognizant | Trusted AI Advisor, Generative AI Strategist, AI Infrastructure, Cloud Engineering, AI Engineering, GenAI/AI/ML and Data Science
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Once the triggers are identified, communicate emphatically to understand the causes. Allow the associate to present the case without interruption. Observe the trajectory of the conversation and find common ground. Clarify the understanding and gaps in information; this may help in clearing the cloud. Communicate expectations and avenues for critics and compliments. Looking at the chain of events differently and providing more insights to the counterparty always ease the tension.
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3 Set clear expectations and boundaries
After you have communicated your concerns and listened to their feedback, set clear expectations and boundaries for the team member. Tell them what you expect from them in terms of behavior, attitude, and performance. Outline the consequences of not meeting those expectations, such as disciplinary action, reduced responsibilities, or exclusion from the team. Reinforce the positive aspects of their role and contribution, and express your confidence in their abilities. Ask them to commit to following the agreed-upon expectations and boundaries.
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Here's a radical strategy: trust your people to beat themselves up when they make a mistake. Everything is easier when you start there. When that is the starting premise, your job is to:- help restore their confidence, not to diminish them.- empower them to teach others how to avoid the same mistake- model loyalty and integrity that will pay dividends for a long time. - demonstrate extreme ownership, and take as much responsibility as you possibly can. If you provide every opportunity for them to demonstrate ownership and accountability and they do neither, then you're not right for one another. You're wasting your money and their time. But don't let yourself off the hook.
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While it's important to establish clear expectations and boundaries for team members, it's also important to recognize that not all behaviors can be easily controlled or changed.Setting consequences for non-compliance may not always be the best approach, as it can create a fear-based environment.Instead, consider working with the team member to find a solution that addresses the underlying issue and supports their growth and development. This may involve providing additional training or resources, adjusting their role or responsibilities, or offering feedback and support on an ongoing basis. By focusing on a collaborative approach, you can build a more positive and productive team culture that values growth and learning.
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- Zuhair A. Medical director- Physician Executive-MBA- leadership-Kaizen.
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Other consideration: is this repeated behavior. There is a degree of providing the positive and encourage behavior change. In some occasion, mentioning the positive is contra- productive. Asses the situation and decide the appropriate approach
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4 Monitor and follow up
After you have set the expectations and boundaries, monitor the team member's progress and behavior. Provide constructive feedback, praise, and recognition when appropriate. If they continue to undermine your leadership, remind them of the expectations and boundaries, and enforce the consequences. If they improve their behavior, acknowledge their efforts and thank them for their cooperation. Keep the communication open and honest, and address any issues or concerns as they arise.
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Keep records of any incidents or issues related to the team member's behavior. This can help you identify patterns of behavior and provide evidence if further action is needed.
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By recognizing and praising your team's efforts when they meet or exceed expectations, you can reinforce their positive behavior and build their confidence.At the same time, it's important to maintain a consistent and fair approach by enforcing consequences when necessary.This helps to establish clear boundaries and expectations and shows that you are committed to maintaining a respectful and professional team environment. By keeping the lines of communication open and addressing any issues or concerns in a timely and proactive manner, you can foster a culture of accountability and trust, and help your team member reach their full potential.
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Provide regular feedback on the team member's behavior. This can be done through one-on-one meetings, performance reviews, or informal check-ins. Be specific about the behavior that needs to change and provide suggestions for improvement.
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5 Seek support and advice
Dealing with a team member who undermines your leadership can be stressful and exhausting. You don't have to do it alone. Seek support and advice from your peers, mentors, or superiors. They may have faced similar situations and can offer you valuable insights, suggestions, or resources. You can also seek professional help from a coach, a counselor, or a mediator if the situation is severe or complex. Don't let the team member's actions affect your self-esteem, confidence, or well-being.
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Identifying a trusted colleague is key. Identify colleagues whom you trust and who has experience dealing with similar situations. This can include mentors, peers, or HR professionals. This is a situation where one head is definitely better than one.
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Seeking support and advice from others can be a helpful way to navigate this situation. However, it's also important to recognize that seeking help does not mean you are weak or incapable of handling the situation on your own.It takes strength and courage to ask for help when you need it.In addition to seeking support from others, it's also important to take care of your own well-being. Remember that your self-worth is not determined by the behavior of others and that you are capable of leading your team effectively. With patience, persistence, and a positive mindset, you can overcome this challenge and continue to grow as a leader.
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6 Learn and grow
Finally, use this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow as a leader. Reflect on what you did well, what you could have done better, and what you learned from the situation. How did you handle the conflict, the communication, and the emotions? How did you balance your authority, your empathy, and your professionalism? How did you maintain your integrity, your credibility, and your vision? How did you support your team, your project, and your organization? By learning from this challenge, you can enhance your leadership skills and prepare for future ones.
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You can take the all-or-nothing approach and simply fire them as others have said here, but I would curb this thought for good reason.If you hold this standard of "just get rid of him/her" then your team will see this as well.This is not a good thing as you will lose your team's trust in your abilities or adapt and overcome issues that arise within your team. This will lead to a reduction in your overall team's trust in you.Exhaust your options before going with the "Fire" option and your team will recognize your efforts if it comes down to letting the person go, the team will recognize that you made the effort which will increase your value in the long run.
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Nope. Fire them. No one wants to work with them OR trusts them. Save your energy. The team’s attitude will TOTALLY IMPROVE by removing the toxic member. Noooooo one want to work with them (so they don’t offer anything to the team). Your team will thank you.
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7 Here’s what else to consider
This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?
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- Joe Temple Adjunct Professor at Coastal Carolina UNiversity and Retired IBM Distinguished Engineer
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Most of my leadership experience is non-positional. In this case authority comes simply from the fact you are leading and others are willing to follow. Much of the advise here is sound for either case. But your antagonist isn't always a subordinate. Sometimes it is a peer or even your boss. You must understand your authority and ability to influence the situation at hand. Sometimes the way to lead your way out of the situation is to delegate the interaction to a follower. Other times the best thing to do is directly and privately confront the individual. Sometimes its best to delegate your response. Sometimes, you can give your antagonist the limelight. They will either wither or blossom.
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- Boi Carpenter Inquisitive Leader • Talent Architect • Disruptive Thinker • Professional Listener • Devoted Mother •••• Views expressed on this account are my own and do not reflect the views of any past or current employers.••••
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If you know, based on facts and data points, that you have a team member who is undermining your leadership take time to think about how that is affecting the performance and culture on your team. What do you signal when you accept and tolerate bad behavior?
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- Richard Till Owner / Operator at PJ's Pizza, LLC
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First off, I have never witnessed someone directly undermine a leader who is "comfortably confident" in their decisions and leadership. If you are that-the outlier will stand out in their results. Go after results to keep the team engaged and the underminer will be pushed out by their lack of performance.
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