How Marie Kondo changed her mind about mess: ‘I realised perfect order was not my goal - it was spending time with my kids’ (2024)

Marie Kondo became a global home-organising phenomenon when she wrote The Life-Changing Magicof Tidying Up more than a decade ago. The book was published in more than 30 countries and her trademarked KonMari Method of tidying by categorising, ordering and only retaining objectsthat“spark joy” catapulted her on to Time magazine’s 100 most influential people list in 2015, inspired two Netflix shows – Tidying Up With Marie Kondo and Sparking Joy With Marie Kondo – and amassed the Osaka-born guru 4.1 million decluttering fans on Instagram.

Three children later, the 39-year-old’s mindset has shifted radically. “As long as the living room floor is clean, then that is what the new tidying threshold becomes,” she says. Word of her embracing a “messy” home emerged last year when she explained in a webinar that she had “kind of given up” on tidying the house after the birth of her third child, a son, now two. (She also has daughters, seven and eight.)

“There were as many reactions as there were followersand fans that I have around the world,” Kondosays of the response to her revelation that kids’ toys were now strewn across her formerly immaculate home. “But the overwhelming reaction was relatability rather than shock, surprise or betrayal. More than messages saying: ‘What happened?’ were ‘Oh, Icompletely understand what you’re going through,’ and, ‘I thought so, too.’”

Her followers’ attitudes have evolved alongside her own. “As my life stage has shifted, perhaps the same thing has been happening with my followers,” she says. “It may not necessarily be with growing families; people may be really busy with work or they just aren’t physically able to always be tidy.”

When Kondo launched her brand, work was everything, she says. “I was focused on my book and spreading the message and the idea of sparking joy in one’s life through the act of tidying up.” Sparking joy, she says, remains core to the KonMari Method, whichshe reprises in New York next month, for her first in-person course for aspiring professional organisers since 2019.

How Marie Kondo changed her mind about mess: ‘I realised perfect order was not my goal - it was spending time with my kids’ (1)

But the circ*mstances around her method are different now, and she is open with followers about that. “I realised always maintaining the perfect state of tidiness was not my goal, but spending time with my kids is. That’s what really sparks joy.”

Her previously stringent approach to designating spaces for items (the Marie Kondo effect triggered a transatlantic rise in sales of storage boxes) is now less rigorous in her own home. “In the past, I’ve encouraged my children to put the plush toys in the plush box and the music items in the music box and the doll house items in the doll house box, but when kids play and it comes time to return items to their designated homes or the places we agreed upon, everything just gets mixed up. Now I have shifted my mindset to the idea that everything being at least inside a box is satisfactory.”She has a temporary pile-up of “stuff” bythe dining room table. “In the past, I didn’t have theidea of a temporary location for items.”

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It’s not that Kondo doesn’t enjoy the practice that made her name. “Perhaps my position is slightly unique,because I am a huge fan of tidying and I enjoytheact of tidying up,” she says. It’s just that the idea may no longeralways be “attainable”.

Publicly acknowledging that change, when your name is synonymous with eliminating clutter, was a risk, although Kondo’s following is undented. “Whenyou have a brand, the perception, or expectation,is that my life must be [the same]. If you look at the Netflix series, especially the first season, the core message is that the protagonist in each story is going through a journey of tidying,” she says. “Iunderstand how that might project a certain image of my own lifestyle, but those two are not necessarily always equal. My own personal level or threshold is something completely separate.” And at the moment, Kondo is closer to her clients’ experience than ever.

How Marie Kondo changed her mind about mess: ‘I realised perfect order was not my goal - it was spending time with my kids’ (2024)

FAQs

What are the 5 steps of the KonMari Method? ›

  • Rule 1: Commit Yourself to Tidying Up. The KonMari Method™ is not a quick fix for a messy room or a once-in-a-while approach to tidying. ...
  • Rule 2: Imagine Your Ideal Lifestyle. ...
  • Rule 3: Finish Discarding First. ...
  • Rule 4: Tidy by Category, Not by Location. ...
  • Rule 5: Follow the Right Order. ...
  • Rule 6: Ask Yourself If It Sparks Joy.

What did Marie Kondo actually say? ›

Here's a closer look at the Marie Kondo quote in context: “Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times. I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.

Why did Marie Kondou quit? ›

Since becoming a mother to three children, she said her way of life had changed and her focus had shifted from organisation to drawing on simple ways to bring happiness to everyday things. In the book, she writes: “Tidying up means dealing with all the 'things' in your life.”

What does Marie Kondo believe? ›

"The ultimate goal is to spark joy every day and lead a joyful life," according to Kondo, who describes this philosophy as kurashi, which she says roughly translates to "way of life."

What is the rule of 5 decluttering? ›

The Decluttering Rule of 5 advises assessing items not used in five years to decide whether to keep, donate, or discard. Organize closets by usage, manage sentimental items thoughtfully, and maintain habits like 'one-in, one-out' to simplify and enhance daily living efficiently.

What is Marie Kondos' famous phrase? ›

To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.

Who is the queen of decluttering? ›

Decluttering queen Marie Kondo has said that she's “kind of given up” tidying at home, due to the birth of her third child.

Is Kondo actually strong? ›

Having trained since childhood with his allies Toshiro Hijikata and Sogo Okita, Kondo is a skilled swordsman and a capable leader. Though Kondo is a powerful fighter, he is not as strong as some of his Shinsengumi compatriots due to being more of a leader who commands others.

What religion inspired Marie Kondo? ›

Kondo says that her method is partly inspired by the Shinto religion.

Why was Kondo executed? ›

Kondō was accused of the murder of Sakamoto Ryōma and was executed by the New Government after surrendered Boshin War[3].

How do you declutter your life like Marie Kondo? ›

Fold your things properly

The first step to declutter your cupboard is to fold your clothes in a proper way. Kondo recommends you to buy a dresser if you do not have one, this will keep your clothes happier.

Why is KonMari so popular? ›

People around the world have been drawn to Marie's philosophy and the KonMari Method™ not only because they work, but also because of the importance placed on being mindful, introspective and forward-looking. Tidying is a powerful reset – your real life begins after putting your house in order.

Why does Marie Kondo always wear white? ›

Marie Kondo always wears white.

Because it's associated with cleanliness. “It is part of my brand,” she told The New Yorker. We imagine that she of all people wouldn't have a hard time keeping her wardrobe clean.

Is Marie Kondo a Millionaire? ›

Today Kondo – whose estimated worth is around US$8 million – and her husband Takumi Kawahara, who has a knack for networking and growing businesses from scratch, are seeking fresh ways to further elevate and expand their company KonMari.

What does Marie Kondo eat? ›

Kondo starts each day with a cup of tea and some miso soup with rice. At lunch and dinner, it's her favorite dish, Japanese chicken wing soup and steamed rice with sea bream, that she cooks in a clay pot called a donabe.

What are the 5 steps to clean as you go? ›

'Clean as you Go' and Protective Clothing
  • The clean as you go five step method:
  • Step 1 – Pre-clean.
  • Step 2 – Main clean.
  • Step 3 – Disinfection.
  • Step 4 – Final rinse.
  • Step 5 – Dry item.
  • Protective Clothing:

What is the 5 things tidying method? ›

These five things include dishes (abandoned coffee cups, snack bowls), trash (old tissues, junk mail, empty soda cans), and laundry—whether clean but unfolded, or dirty and strewn about. The last two categories are things that have a place and things that do not.

What is the 4 pass method of decluttering? ›

Start by choosing a room, closet, corner, or drawer and follow four simple steps: Clear out, categorize, cut out, and contain. First, you'll clear out the space you've chosen so you can start with a blank canvas. Then, group every item by category, cutting out (or donating) items you don't need to keep.

What is the tidy toss method? ›

home) and involves assigning all your small, loose wardrobe items – think swimwear, hats and gloves– a dedicated home within a basket or container. You quickly toss them into these containers once you're done with them, rather than neatly folding, organising or hanging each individual item up.

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