Wemean the world toour children and when welet them down, it’s atragedy. Asimple promise wemake inarush and break afterward may mean nothing tous, but itmay shout toour kids, “You don’t matter toyour mom and dad!” Children can remember broken promises for years, and ifyou don’t want your child tothink ofyou as“aliar,” it’s better tokeep the promises you make nomatter what ittakes.
Here atBright Side wetook acloser look atwhat happens tokids when parents break their promises.
Your kids may start thinking you’re aliar.
Weteach our kids that it’s crucial tokeep promises, but sometimes weourselves fail todoit. When you tell your child that something will happen and then itnever comes true, technically you “lie,” and your kid will beable tomake this simple conclusion. Just remember the last time someone broke their promise toyou. Did ithurt? And now imagine afeeling many times worse— this ishow our kids may feel when they’re let down bythe most important people intheir lives.
They may think they don’t matter toyou.
Ofcourse, you don’t mean tohurt you kid’s feelings when you suddenly break apromise you’ve given tothem. But your kids may feel they don’t matter toyou, because you put what’s important tothem atthe end ofthe list and finally forgot aboutit. Relationships require hard work, and when you keep this promise nomatter what ittakes, itmakes you ahero inyour kid’s eyes and agood example tofollow.
They will break their own promises.
Parents are role models for their kids, and when they keep breaking their promises, kids may think about following this pattern too. They may think, “If my mom (dad) doesn’t keep her word, why should I?” We don’t want our children to become promise breakers when they grow up, but when we take our promises too easy, we push our kids toward doing exactly the same thing.
Finally, they may lose their trust and respect for you.
When we do as we say, it helps our children feel secure and builds trust between us. When this trust is betrayed our children may feel lost, especially when they’re too young to understand the concept of giving and keeping promises. Eventually, they may lose their respect for you and what you say, because they’ll see that your promises are not followed by actions.
Does this mean you shouldn’t promise your child anything? Not at all. Avoiding promising things means you’re not ready to commit yourself to a relationship with other people, and your child in particular. Parents who avoid making promises can make their kids not feel confident enough to take any risks. When you give and keep a promise, your kid knows there’s someone they can rely on, someone who will make anything happen to support them. Just make sure you make promises you can keep and try your best to do it.
Do you always keep the promises you make to your kids? Do you remember your parents breaking their promises to you?
Illustrated by Ekaterina Gandrabura
for
Bright Side
