How to deal with a manipulative boss (2024)

FAQs

How to deal with a manipulative boss? ›

Let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no'. At first the manipulator might push back even harder, but at heart these people are cowards. Stay firm, stay calm, and never take the bait if they try to wind you up. Don't respond to attempted guilt trips.

Let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no'. At first the manipulator might push back even harder, but at heart these people are cowards. Stay firm, stay calm, and never take the bait if they try to wind you up. Don't respond to attempted guilt trips.

They may use bonuses, verbal praise, encouragement, or even empowering activities to help you grow your skills. However, a manipulative boss will focus on what you are not good at or not doing up to their unattainable standards while completely ignoring your strengths.

You have to have a direct conversation when your boss manipulates you by blocking you from achieving your goals. If they put an obstacle in your way, let them know. But make sure to do so in writing. If your boss assigns goals with competing priorities, ask them for help prioritizing them.

Be direct and persistent, and use "I" statements to avoid generalities and accusations. For instance, you could say, "I would feel taken advantage of if I did that" instead of, "You're taking advantage of me!" Manipulators will often change the subject or use other avoidance tactics when you confront them.

They are afraid of vulnerability. Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings. They seek out the vulnerabilities in others in order to take advantage of them for their own benefits and deflect their true motives. They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience.

What is boss gaslighting? ›

One of the most insidious forms of toxic leadership is gaslighting—a psychological tactic where someone manipulates you into doubting your own reality. If you've ever found yourself questioning your memory, perception, or even your sanity at work, you might be experiencing gaslighting.

Toxic bosses often feel the need to control every aspect of an employee's work. They may constantly check in to ask for updates, question your abilities, demand that you add them to every email and discourage you from making decisions without their input or supervision. Lack of boundaries.

Talk to your boss

Manipulative people like to hide behind vagaries and unclear statements and actions. Counter this by being open about how you have been feeling about their actions. Ask your boss if they would consider another course of action than the one they have been taking.

It may seem like extra work, but protecting yourself is worth it! Involve HR or a Labor Law Expert- Do not confront your toxic manager alone. Go to your HR department to report concerns and seek support.

Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder (usually by feigning distress or using flattery, gaslighting, emotional blackmail or love-bombing or seduction to obtain affection or to avoid abandonment).

Control: People who manipulate might be driven by a need for control or controlling tendencies, which may feel thrilling. Low self-esteem: Manipulation can be a way for a person to avoid feeling bad about themselves. “People manipulate largely due to lack of self-confidence or self-esteem.

Seek clarity rather than confrontation: When you sense manipulation at play, ask them to explain their behavior or statements peacefully. Use “I” statements: Own your feelings. Stay factual: Keep it real, ditch the drama. Avoid playing the blame game: Express how their behavior affects you without attacking them.