How to Keep Your House in the Divorce: A Step-By-Step Guide (2024)

You’ve already made the difficult decision to divorce. Now, you need to plan and determine how to keep the house in a divorce. Maybe you’re weighing your options and wondering if you should even try.

The answer is: it depends. There are a lot of reasons why you may want to keep the home:

  • Concerns over being able to afford a comparable home
  • Desire to stay close to family or close friends
  • Emotional memories tied to the home
  • Seeking stability in an unstable situation
  • Sentimental attachment to the house or neighborhood
  • Strong community ties (work, neighbors, church)
  • Want to keep your children in the same school district

Your reasons may be more emotional than practical, but it can be helpful to adopt a pragmatic approach in deciding whether you want to keep your house in the divorce.

How to Keep Your House in the Divorce: A Step-By-Step Guide (1)

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Disclaimer: As a friendly reminder, this blog post is meant to be used for educational purposes only, not legal advice. If you need assistance navigating the legalities of keeping your home in a divorce, HomeLight always encourages you to reach out to your own advisor.

First, familiarize yourself with your state’s laws on property division and the divorce waiting period. Then, evaluate your finances to ensure that you put yourself in a strong financial position in the future.

Instead of asking how to keep your house in the divorce, you may be asking, “Should I keep the house in a divorce?”

Use this step-by-step guide to determine if keeping the house is the right move for you.

How to keep the house in a divorce: Take it step by step

Before continuing down this path, it’s important to take a deep dive into your finances to determine if you qualify to refinance by yourself.

“When one spouse is attempting to keep the house, it’s important to remember that you can’t qualify for as much as a single person,” advises Dawn Fore, a top agent in Houston, Texas who is a trained divorce specialist.

Step 1: Evaluate your finances

When going through a divorce, people often make the mistake of keeping a house they cannot afford because they don’t anticipate the actual cost of owning and maintaining the home on their own.

“Can you pay the mortgage, property taxes, homeowners insurance, and maintenance? There are many hidden costs that homeowners incur,” says Denise Erlich, an Illinois attorney who specializes in divorce and family law. “You should not simply be comparing the monthly mortgage to the cost you would pay to rent a residence. Utilities are probably two times the cost in a house than an apartment.”

You don’t want to give up your rights to other assets to secure the house, only to find out that you can’t afford to keep it.

If you have a mortgage on the property, you have to prove to the court that you’re financially stable enough to pay for the following:

  • Mortgage
  • Repairs
  • Taxes
  • Upkeep

There are other things to consider beyond your ability to secure the home from your ex and prove your financial stability. Even if keeping the house is a viable option for you, it might not be the best financial move.

What are you willing to sacrifice to keep your home in the divorce?

You’ll have to decide what you are willing to give up in exchange for keeping the house. You may have to pay tax on some capital gains you make when you eventually sell the home, and that amount of tax burden might eat up an unexpected chunk of your equity.

Here is an example of how the capital gains tax exclusion might work for a married couple:

  • You and your partner sell your house for $517,200 profit (that’s $517,200 over what you initially paid for the house) before or during a divorce.
  • You’ve both lived in the home as your primary residence for at least two of the five years before the sale.
  • Up to $500,000 ($250,000 each) is typically exempt from the sale of your home.
  • Therefore, capital gains tax will be owed only on the $17,200 that exceeds the exemption limit.

If you decide to take the house in the divorce, this is how the capital gains tax exclusion might work for a single homeowner:

(Note: The exclusion may be reduced if you purchased the house less than two years before the sale. Also, the five-year period can be extended if either spouse is actively serving in the military, depending on the circ*mstances. Always consult with your financial advisor or tax professional to determine what’s best for your situation.)

Another potential consequence is the assets you might exchange to offset the house price.

Step 2: Decide on the best way to pay for it

There are a few ways to pay for the home post-divorce. You could buy out your ex’s equity with your own assets, or you could try a cash-out refinance, which would release your ex’s equity and allow you to remortgage it, along with the remainder of the mortgage. Of course, you’ll need to qualify for the mortgage on your own.

Let’s take a look at how you might pay for the home in three different scenarios:

  • If the house is paid off
  • If you still have a mortgage but have some equity
  • If there is little to no equity in the home

How to keep the house in a divorce if it is paid off

When you divorce, the home is likely the most significant and most valuable joint asset controlled by your state’s division of property laws. The court typically divides the equity in the house.

When you want to keep the house following a divorce, you may need to use your other assets to offset your ex’s share of the equity in the home.

Here is an illustration of what that means:

Suppose you and your ex have $300,000 equity built into your home. You decide you want to keep the house, and your ex agrees to let you keep it. In this scenario, you will typically be responsible for paying the $150,000 to your ex for their share of the equity built up in the house.

If you do not have enough cash to offset the cost of the home outright, then you may need to give up your claim to other marital assets, which can include, but are not limited to:

  • Brokerage or investment accounts
  • Different types of personal property
  • Reduction in alimony
  • Retirement accounts
  • Vacation homes
  • Vehicles

When you choose to offset your ex’s half of the existing equity in the home, it doesn’t remove their name from the mortgage or deed. You will need your ex to sign a quitclaim deed to remove their name from the property.

Another thing to consider is that you may not have enough assets to offset the home’s value. If that’s the case, you’ll need to secure a loan to pay your former spouse their share of the equity.

If you decide to get a loan, make sure you have enough cash to cover the loan payments, taxes, insurance, and repairs for the house.

How to keep your house in a divorce if you still have a mortgage

When there’s a mortgage on the home, keeping it is more complicated. In many cases, the simplest way to keep the house in a divorce if it still has a mortgage is to refinance.

The best-case scenario is for you to refinance and remove the mortgage from your ex’s name altogether. You’ll need to qualify for the mortgage on your own, so make sure to have all your financial ducks in a row.

Here again, if you don’t have the cash to pay for the house outright or other assets you can leverage, you will probably need to refinance just to pay your former spouse’s half of the existing equity.

Here are some things to consider when refinancing:

  • You’ll be refinancing for the existing balance of the original loan.
  • You’ll need to add your ex’s half of the current equity to the actual loan total.
  • You’ll need to qualify for the larger loan with your income alone.

In general, lenders cap refinancing a mortgage at 80% of the home’s total value. If your debt and your partner’s equity combined push you past that cap, you may not qualify for the mortgage on your own.

Here is an example of what that means:

Suppose your home’s value is $600,000, and your existing mortgage debt is $400,000. Your current equity is $200,000 (the total value minus the total mortgage debt). Your ex’s share is $100,000, or half of the total mortgage debt.

As a result, you need to refinance for a $500,000 mortgage (existing debt + ex’s equity share). But your lender caps the refinance amount at 80% of your home’s value, or $480,000.

In this scenario, your options will be to:

  • Secure an additional $20,000
  • Negotiate with your former spouse to accept $20,000 less
  • Not refinance the house

How to keep the house in a divorce if there is little to no equity

Do you want a home with little to no equity? Why?

Maybe you’ve decided that it’s the right choice for you. One word of caution — don’t let your emotions control this critical financial decision.

You can negotiate with your former spouse to keep the mortgage the same with both your names on the title or deed. But, you must dictate who is financially responsible for the mortgage payments and other expenses that may arise.

Keep in mind that if a payment is missed, and both of your names are on the mortgage, the lender views both parties as equally responsible. Consequently, missed payments negatively impact both your credit scores.

How to Keep Your House in the Divorce: A Step-By-Step Guide (2024)

FAQs

Does my husband still have to pay the mortgage if he leaves? ›

Key takeaways

If you obtained a joint mortgage with your ex, both of you are responsible for the debt. Divorcing couples with a joint mortgage typically opt to sell the marital home, refinance the mortgage to a new loan in one spouse's name or have one party buy out the other.

Can I sue my ex for not refinancing the house? ›

File a motion for contempt: You can file a motion with the court that handled your divorce to enforce the terms of the divorce decree. This may involve requesting that your ex-wife be held in contempt of court for failing to comply with the order to refinance the home or obtain a new loan.

How to keep a house in divorce without refinancing? ›

Mortgage Transfer

Transferring the existing mortgage to the spouse keeping the house might be the easiest way to settle the housing issue. Usually a lender will want copies of the divorce decree and a properly executed and filed quitclaim deed in order to transfer the mortgage.

What happens if my husband died and I'm not on the mortgage? ›

But, if the surviving spouse is not listed on the mortgage, there must be a transfer of ownership in order for the surviving spouse to keep the house. Once ownership is transferred to a surviving spouse or any other heir, it is up to them to continue making payments until they decide what to do with the house.

What happens if I can't refinance after a divorce? ›

You have a few options to consider if you are unwilling or unable to refinance after divorce: Ask for a mortgage assumption. Some lenders may allow one party to “assume” the responsibility for the other party's share of the debt obligation.

Can you remove spouse's name from mortgage without refinancing? ›

While refinancing is the most straightforward and obvious way to remove a person from a mortgage, that option isn't always available or optimal. Doing so without refinancing is possible via mortgage assumption, loan modification or even bankruptcy.

How to remove spouse name from mortgage after divorce? ›

Removing someone from a mortgage typically requires a loan application, proof of income, bank statements, credit report, property title and deed, and a divorce decree or separation agreement if applicable. Your lender may also request additional documents depending on your specific situation.

What happens if a spouse stops paying a mortgage during divorce? ›

Even if one person doesn't want to or can't pay the mortgage, both people are likely still on the hook for the debt. The lender can often come after either person for the full amount of the existing mortgage, no matter who is named on the mortgage.

What happens if my husband leaves the house? ›

Both spouses still legally own the home until title is changed to just the one spouse. That can be done by a quit claim deed from the spouse who left to the spouse who stayed.

Does my husband still have to pay the bills if he leaves? ›

You are equally liable in the eyes of the creditors to see that the bills are paid unless you are able to transfer things like the utilities out of your name. Obviously, if your spouse does not make these payments and you are still technically liable, your credit will be harmed.

What happens if someone leaves you a house with a mortgage? ›

Despite the borrower's demise, the mortgage on the home still needs to be repaid and kept current while the estate gets straightened out. If mortgage payments are not made, heirs may face late payment fees or risk losing the home to foreclosure if too much time passes without payments.

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