How to Obtain Money from Your Parents: 11 Steps (with Pictures) (2024)

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Co-authored bySupatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Last Updated: March 21, 2024

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1. 1

   Decide whether you should only approach one parent. Your goal shouldn’t be to pit one parent against the other. However, asking for a little cash doesn’t need to turn into a major financial transaction. If you need eight bucks for a movie ticket, try asking one of your parents. If you need more like 50, it may need to involve both of them.

   • Small amounts of money may not be much of a debate.
   • For larger sums of money, they will appreciate that you approached both of them, and take the allowance seriously.
   • You may have one parent who is more sympathetic to childhood or teenage hobbies. If you are only asking one, make it that one.
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   Prepare to explain yourself.^[1] Your chosen parent will want to know why you want money. Your answer will be crucial in determining whether you get it. It will probably not be successful for you to lie about the reason, so be honest. There is nothing wrong with wanting a few bucks to get milkshakes with your friends or go to the movies.

   • A parent is more likely to give you money to fund an activity they support (something school-related, an educational trip, a reputable event, etc.). After all, this is the same rationale nonprofits use asking for charitable donations.^[2]
   • Asking for money to buy an item might be easier to explain. For example, if you just made the school soccer team, needing a ball to practice at home is pretty self-explanatory.

     If you're asking for something just for fun:
     Don't: say "It's not fair" or "I need it."
     Do: say "I know it's not something I need, but I'm willing to earn it."

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   Have reasons to back up your initial request. The ideal scenario would be that once you tell your parent what you want money for, s/he would give it to you without further questions. However, this won’t always be the case. Tell them why the event is important to you, and why it isn’t just a regular Saturday afternoon, for example.

   • Come up with two or three supporting reasons why the money is important.
   • For example, if you need money to go to a movie, you might have a few reasons ready, like, “Nicole wants to see a movie for her birthday, and I promised her I would come to this birthday since I missed the last one" or “We’ve been fighting a little bit lately and I really want to make it up to her by going to the movies with her on her birthday.”
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   Have an exact amount in mind.^[3] This is where you get to show off your early budgeting skills, which they should respect. Tell them exactly how much it will cost, and leave buffer room for unpredictable expenses. Be honest about adding that amount in, and they should be impressed with your ability to create a budget.

   • For example, look up the exact price of a movie ticket. Add the two bucks you always give your friend for gas money. Finally, say you want an extra three bucks for a soda or snack, though you don’t know for sure if you will need it.
   • If it is a more substantial cost, for a road trip or dinner out with a date, come up with as precise a number as you can. Your parents don’t want you not to have fun, they just need to know you have a mature understanding of budgeting.
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   Be prepared to negotiate. Your parents may not be excited about throwing you the entire cost of your dinner date, but they still want to help. Don’t be intimidated by negotiation. If you’re honest about your needs and are willing to concede, negotiation can easily help you get more than nothing.^[4]

   If your parents give you an "absolute no":
   Don't: keep negotiating.
   Do: leave politely and wait for a chance to bring it up again by offering a new favor.

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   Offer something in exchange. Be willing to offer to do something you know your parents want.^[5] For example, they may want you to do the lawn more often, so offer something chore-related. This part of the conversation will likely become controlled by your parents. If they ask you to study more and pull up your grades this month in exchange, agree to it.^[6]

   • Following through with your promise will make them much more likely to barter with you like this in the future!
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   Be polite. Nothing says “I don’t take money seriously” more than rolling your eyes when they seem skeptical. Convey to them you value their parental guidance and concern by asking nicely and saying thank you.^[7] Making this an exchange between two mature parties will do wonders for your relationship with your parents.

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1. 1

   Consider whom you will ask. By this point in your life, you probably have an idea of which parent is more likely to give you a few bucks. On the other hand, if you need a substantial amount of money, approach both of them together. Let them talk it over before you even make your case.

   • You also might ask both parents together if they tend to be more indulgent as a couple than as individuals.

     Don't: mention this to your friends, especially if they know your parents.
     Do: talk to your siblings if your parents end up giving you money. If you keep it secret and they find out, it could cause resentment.

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   Prepare to talk about your budget and spending. As much as you might like to think that your budget is no longer your parents’ business, asking them for money makes it their business. They probably won’t expect you to present them with a printed out spreadsheet of your projected and actual monthly expenses. However, giving them a rough estimate will go a long way in demonstrating that you have a mature relationship with money.

   • Allowing your parents to see a basic breakdown of where your money goes may help them feel more confident in giving you money (as long as your expenditures aren't frivolous in their eyes).
   • Include a list of activities you participate in to earn money, whether it be a job, a freelance writing gig, classes to further your education, etc. Your parents will want to see that you’re making an effort, not just "mooching."

     Don't: lecture your parents about how to budget their money.
     Do: make sure they can afford what you're asking for without affecting their safety net.

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   Demonstrate your interest in school or work. Show them how you are doing well in school. To make it even more enticing, show them how you even plan to improve. This makes your financial situation seem like a temporary problem, not permanent. It also makes you seem grateful for the support they have already shown you in your academic or early work career.^[8]

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   Ask for a loan. Your parents may not deem it necessary for you to pay them back. They may instead see this as an investment on their part. However, telling them you are prepared to work hard to pay them back will further demonstrate your financial maturity. On the other hand, actually agreeing to pay them back for money will teach you valuable lessons in money management.

   • You and your parents can negotiate the repayment plan as necessary: they may want the money sooner; they may want to charge interest, etc. Be willing to work with them to set up a repayment plan you’re all comfortable with.

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