Andreas Narum
Certified psychologist & couplestherapist
Founder of Remainly
At any time in your life, it is easy to feel lost when you don’t have stable future plans. Whether you are looking forward to something within the next week or year, having a goal in mind can help to implement a sense of purpose.
Planning for the future is also integral in maintaining the stability of a relationship. Setting time aside to think about and acknowledge the future with your partner has a vast number of benefits for the happiness of your relationship.
In this article, we discuss why it is important to plan for the future as a couple and the steps you can take together to achieve a plan.
Why is planning for the future important?
Planning for the future is integral in creating a strong and lasting relationship. There are many reasons why planning your future can strengthen a relationship, a primary one being how it brings partners together.
Thinking back to when you first began dating, perhaps without realising, you most likely included one another in your plans regularly. By talking and discussing these early future plans together, whether big or small, it creates a bond. There is no reason for this bond to stop developing and producing plans is a steady way of maintaining a romantic relationship.
How it affects other areas of the relationship
Planning for the future as a couple has a domino effect for other areas of your relationship.
Discussing your future as a couple acknowledges that you both want to be together. In turn, this can provide a sense of trust in the relationship because it shows you are both committed to being together in the future.
With a feeling of support between one another, it can increase levels of intimacy as you feel like you are part of a caring and loving team.
What life qualities do you want?
The first step in planning your future is to acknowledge what you individually want from life.
What aspects of life do you like? What would you like to experience more of? What would like to have the opportunity to try?
Here at Remainly, our online video service offers a diverse selection of exercises that couples can complete individually, or together, to get to the heart of these big life questions.
One of the activities we recommend is the ‘Rocking Chair Test’: Imagine yourself as your older self on a rocking chair answering the key questions of life. These include the consideration of what you are happy and disappointed that you have spent much of your life doing.
The next step is to come together and discuss your answers. Discover the similar and different thoughts you have and then decide what parts you could revise to ensure you will pass the rocking chair test regret-free.
Talk about hopes and dreams
For some, opening a discussion can be a scary thought, but it is the only way you can transfer your vision of the future from your head to real life.
To get to the truth of what you both want for your future together, you need to ask meaningful questions. Not only will this be beneficial for planning your future, but it will also enhance your levels of intimacy as you start to consider one another’s deepest dreams and desires. You need to encourage one another to discuss each other’s hopes for the future openly.
Be honest
For the discussion to work correctly, both parties must be honest in their communication.
Life is continually changing, and plans can’t always stay the same. However, keeping one another updated about how you feel and your future desires increases your levels of communication. It is this acknowledgement and inclusion which helps to maintain a happy relationship.
Listen intently
Another vital aspect when planning the future as a couple is to ensure you are listening and understanding one another. Instead of offering ideas or advice, you need to seek out as much information about your partner’s desires as you can.
This means absorbing what they are saying, encouraging them to speak and asking open questions such as ‘Can you tell me a bit more about that?’
By actively listening, not only does it benefit planning for the future, but it also displays emotional support which makes your partner feel understood.
Consider each other’s aspirations
Once you have discussed each other’s aspirations, it is time to acknowledge how you can turn them into realistic life goals.
How in the next months and years can you actively help one another to achieve these aims? Are some of the goals similar? Which ones are different, and how can you work together to incorporate them into your lives regardless if they are the same or not?
Start to organise and prioritise the list of goals and begin to create an obtainable life plan. Are there any compromises you are willing to make if you need to? How could you help one another achieve your life ambitions? Bullet point your ideas and turn any challenges into solutions. By doing this together, it will uplift one another through the feeling of support and encourage a positive attitude.
Put the plan to action
Once this is complete, it is time to start putting the plan into motion. You need to start actively implementing your plan in the way you have discussed and keep an eye on the progress.
Think about both the short and long term
Discussing the larger goals in life is essential. However, those smaller plans in between shouldn’t be overlooked. As the saying goes, it is the little things that count in life, and much of our happiness is created from these smaller encounters and fond memories.
As well as producing long-term plans, make sure you have smaller plans to look forward to and that you are regularly including one another into your lives.
If you are considering relationship counselling, Remainly offers an online video service which can offer support at the touch of a button. Our experienced psychologist Andreas leads the sessions through a collection of videos which can be accessed anywhere in the world and within your timescale. For more information on our service, why not get in contact with us and discover how Remainly can support you?
