How to Secretly Prepare for Divorce (2024)

There are many practical ways of planning a divorce secretly. The strongest step is to speak with an experienced New Jersey family lawyer. We’ll explain what financial, emotional, and practical steps you should consider before formally filing a divorce complaint. We’ll explain how to secretly prepare for divorce so you’ve done everything you can to protect yourself before the divorce process begins.

Spouses often need to consider how to secretly plan for divorce when they know their spouse is going to contest the divorce. Calm consideration of how to secretly plan for divorce is also necessary if one spouse has an affair or there are other reasons why you know that a divorce is going to be very emotionally difficult. By preparing ahead of time, you can help ensure that you’re ready for any financial or emotional problems that will make the divorce process difficult.

Practical suggestions for how do you secretly prepare for divorce

Some of the key considerations for how to secretly plan for divorce include:

  • Inventory your assets and income and those of your spouse. If you know your husband or wife is going to contest your claim for equitable distribution, alimony, and child support – you’ll want to make sure you know what your spouse’s assets are, where they are located, how they are titled, and how much they are worth. We’ll help you identify what assets to look for. We’ll also explain what document you should record such as financial records, tax returns, pay stub amounts, and other documents. You should have a safe place to store these documents that your spouse cannot access – such as a post office box, with a family member you trust, your work, or storage locations away from the house.
  • Understanding your social media accounts. You need to know everything that you post on social media can be used by your spouse and vice-versa. We’ll explain how to quietly reduce your posts so that statements, pictures, or videos aren’t used in court.
  • Getting a separate mailbox. This includes a physical mailbox and/or a separate email account. This way, we can communicate with you so that your spouse doesn’t know you’re working with a lawyer and we can answer your questions confidentially.
  • Open a separate bank account. To the extent you can put savings into a new account you should. We’ll explain when you can safely withdraw funds from any joint accounts. We’ll also explain your right to temporary alimony once the divorce process begins.

A wife secretly planning for divorce needs to understand that how to secretly prepare for divorce involves being emotionally comfortable. Our skilled New Jersey divorce lawyers explain that part of the process of how to secretly plan for a divorce may include counseling with a therapist. If you have children, you should prepare what you will say to your children about the marriage ending and be ready for their questions and anxiety.

Other emotional factors involved with how to secretly prepare for divorce include understanding which relatives and friends you can confide in during the divorce and after the divorce – and which family and friends may support your husband.

How to secretly prepare for divorce includes understanding all your divorce rights and what factors are used to evaluate those rights. There are many factors that affect equitable distribution, alimony, and child support. There are also critical factors that affect your right to legal and physical custody. By reviewing these factors with a seasoned divorce lawyer, you can strengthen these factors and help reduce the severity of any criticisms your spouse may have.

Many of the considerations involved with how to secretly prepare for divorce also apply to a husband secretly planning for divorce. We’ll explain, for example, how having an economic advantage may help you. You need to be careful though. Using that advantage may impress on a judge that you’re being vindictive and not putting your family first.

How to secretly prepare for divorce also includes understanding the alternatives. Sometimes, the key to a successful divorce is a friendly resolution rather than a contested divorce. While you want to prepare for yourself for a contest, you should also consider what steps may help convince your spouse that you want to work things out. How to secretly prepare for divorce includes understanding that mediation and the collaborative divorce process are usually faster and less expensive than a full-scale divorce.

Other secret divorce preparation factors

Deciding how to secretly prepare for divorce also includes:

  • Trying to maintain your standard of living so that your spouse pays the correct amount of alimony.
  • Preparing yourself for focusing on your career after the divorce so you and your family can pay your bills and enjoy life.

At DeTorres & DeGeorge Family Law, our divorce lawyers understand how frightening the divorce process is. We’ll help you understand how to secretly prepare for divorce so that you’re as ready as possible once you decide to file the divorce complaint. To discuss your divorce rights, call us at 908-691-2104 or fill out our contact form to make an appointment. We have offices in Clinton and Florham Park.

How to Secretly Prepare for Divorce (2024)

FAQs

How to prepare secretly for a divorce? ›

How Do I Prepare for a Divorce Without My Spouse Finding Out?
  1. Assess Your Situation. Starting the divorce process in secret involves carefully looking at your current life situation. ...
  2. Gather Important Documents. ...
  3. Establish Personal Privacy. ...
  4. Create a Financial Plan. ...
  5. Seek Professional Assistance.

Who loses more financially in a divorce? ›

Despite their best efforts to arrive at an equitable agreement, financial disparities between spouses after divorce are a reality for some couples. There is a good body of research on the subject that shows women bear the heaviest financial burden when a couple divorces.

What is the first thing to do when separating? ›

1. AGREE A DATE OF SEPARATION. The first thing you should do is to note, your date of separation. This date is important because it calculates any time limits you have to bring a property settlement claim and make a divorce application.

Does divorce ruin you financially? ›

Legal and accounting fees during and after the divorce process also can have a sizeable negative impact on each party's finances. Overall, divorce costs can easily run into the tens of thousands of dollars. Other costs to consider: Filing fees.

Can I divorce my wife without her knowing? ›

The only catch is that you can't get a divorce without at least attempting to formally notify your spouse about the proceedings. In every state, one spouse is able to file for divorce without the other's involvement or approval. So, even if you can't find your spouse, you can still file for divorce.

How do I protect myself before divorce? ›

How Do I Protect Myself Financially From My Spouse During a...
  1. Create a Financial Plan for Your Divorce. ...
  2. Open Your Own Bank Account. ...
  3. Separate Your Debt. ...
  4. Monitor Your Credit Score. ...
  5. Take an Inventory of Your Assets. ...
  6. Review Your Retirement Accounts. ...
  7. Consider Mediation Before Litigation. ...
  8. Popular Family Law Articles.
Aug 9, 2023

Who loses more in divorces? ›

Divorce is expensive, and researchers at the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis quantified some of the losses. After separation, men's incomes on average drop 17% while they decline 9% for women, researchers said in a blog post Monday.

Who lost the most money in divorce? ›

Most expensive divorces
  • Bill Gates's divorce in 2021 from Melinda Gates is the most expensive divorce with Melinda getting $76 billion.
  • Jeff Bezos's divorce in 2019 from MacKenzie Bezos; is the second most expensive divorce with MacKenzie Bezos getting $38 billion ($45.3 billion inflation adjusted).

Who is more likely to remarry after a divorce? ›

Men have always been more likely to remarry than women, although this gap is narrowing. Today, approximately 64% of men and 52% of women have remarried.

What is the walk away wife syndrome? ›

So, what exactly is walkaway wife syndrome? In essence, it refers to wives who become so emotionally disconnected and dissatisfied with their marriages that they eventually decide to leave—often after years of built-up resentment.

Is it better to stay separated or divorce? ›

Separation can give both parties more time and space to consider their goals and desires while the divorce is final. It provides breathing room to prevent further conflict and gives each person time to reflect and heal. Separation can also allow to experience independence while keeping your relationship legally intact.

What will I lose if I get divorced? ›

Marital property is generally defined as all income, property, and debts acquired during the marriage. That property is seen as owned equally by both spouses, and therefore will be distributed equally after the divorce, with a couple caveats.

How much money should I save before divorce? ›

Conventional wisdom says that your savings should be able to cover about three to six months' worth of expenses, including bills and other necessities.

What do men lose in a divorce? ›

Men Often Experience a Loss of Identity

But when a divorce happens, men lose most of it – the spouse, the children, the familial bond, and the happiness. The custody of the children is often given to the mother, while the father only gets the visitation rights.

How to prepare before asking for a divorce? ›

Divorce Checklist: Dos
  1. Learn Your State's Requirements for Filing for Divorce. ...
  2. Understand State Laws Governing Property Division and Support. ...
  3. Hire a Lawyer ASAP. ...
  4. Decide What Kind of Divorce Process You Want. ...
  5. Reevaluate Your Financial Situation. ...
  6. Aim to Refinance Debts. ...
  7. Think Long-Term. ...
  8. Take Care of Your Mental Health.
Mar 17, 2023

How to prepare financially for a divorce? ›

4 financial steps to prepare your finances for divorce
  1. Step 1: Get organized and gather key financial documents. ...
  2. Step 2: Understand what you own and what you owe. ...
  3. Step 3: Know what bills are due and protect your credit. ...
  4. Step 4: Create your go-forward budget.

What is the first thing to do when you want a divorce? ›

If you think your relationship may end in divorce, your first step should be to consult an experienced divorce attorney. Even if you have not fully made a decision, they can help you to understand what the likely outcomes may be in terms of financial and custody arrangements.

How to mentally prepare for divorce? ›

Coping With Separation And Divorce
  1. Recognize that it's OK to have different feelings. ...
  2. Give yourself a break. ...
  3. Don't go through this alone. ...
  4. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. ...
  5. Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. ...
  6. Take time to explore your interests. ...
  7. Think positively.

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