Step 6: Make Forgiveness a Daily Practice
You can’t get to the full experience of forgiveness by yourself. You need other people to help you examine your thinking, especially during the early stages. There is too much to sort through and fix on your own.
My feelings of shame and unworthiness kept me from getting any form of support for years. Instead, I used money to armor up and look like I had it all together. I could pay for a therapist. I had enough money to go to an expensive treatment center. But I was kidding myself: all those people were hired staff, and recruiting them to help me was merely my way of introducing another level of control, another way to avoid actual intimacy. Besides, often when you pay people, they just tell you what you want to hear.
As a coach, I make a point of doing the opposite. When people come to me, I say, “I’m going to tell you the truth—with love, compassion, no blame, no judgment. Blame and judgment kill the soul, and you are here to rise up. You may not be paying me for the whole truth, but it is essential for your growth to hear from a trusted friend what you can’t see that blocks you from your blessings.”
The truth gets blocked when we are in protection and armored with shame. Self-love and self-compassion, over time, will allow you to put down the armor and thrive.
