In our modern world, finding love has stretched far beyond the bounds of meeting someone face-to-face. Dating apps have opened up a whole new realm of possibilities, connecting hearts across cities, countries, and even continents.
But, it's not all heart emojis and sweet nothings. Some people, hiding behind screens, aren't looking for love but are on the prowl for something more sinister: victims for their romance scams.
Let's look at the numbers—they're pretty startling. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) reported that in 2022 alone, a whopping 70,000 Americans fell victim to these deceitful online romances. And the cost? An eye-watering $1.3 billion lost in 2022 to these heartless cyber swindlers. But believe it or not, this is just the tip of the iceberg in the world of online dating scams.
So, we've put together a list of 25 eye-opening statistics about this shady side of online romance, plus some crucial tips to help you ensure your "love at first swipe" is the real deal. Stay safe out there—your heart and your wallet will thank you!
What is a romancescam (and what types are there)?
A romance scam, also known as an online dating scam, is when a person gets tricked into believing they’re in a romantic relationship withsomeone they met online, when in fact their other half is a cybercriminal usinga fake identity to gain enough of their trust to ask — or blackmail — them formoney.
Some of the most common internet dating scamsinclude:
- Fake dating sites: Scam dating sites claim to belegitimate but are actually filled with scammers or underpopulated. Thesewebsites are created to mine your information.
- Photo scams: Scammers will convince their target tosend their personal information in exchange for intimate photos.
- Military romance scams: The scammer willpose as a military member, likely deployed. They build trust by using militaryjargon and titles, then ask for money to cover military-related expenses, suchas flights home.
- Intimate activity scams: The scammerconnects with their target on multiple social media websites. Once they becomecloser, the scammer convinces them to undress and then threatens them with therecordings.
- Code verification scams: Scammers willsend a fake verification code through email or text, posing to be a dating appor website. Once clicked on, it will ask for their personal information,includingSocial Securitynumberand credit cards.
- Inheritance scams: Scammers will make their targetbelieve they need to get married in order to get their inheritance. In thiscase, they will ask them to help pay for something like airfare.
- Malware scams: Malware is also commonon dating sites. In this case, the recipient will interact with a scammer whosends them a website that looks legitimate; however, it's a page that includesmalware.
- Sugar daddy scams: In this type of romance scam, a scammer will pose as a wealthy individual looking to send money to a younger person in exchange for online companionship. Once they build your trust, they'll ask for an upfront fee or personal information before sending your allowance.
Now that you know the different types of romance scamscirculating on the internet, let’s look at how they work.
How romance scamswork
Oftentimes, a romance scammer starts on dating sites orapps. But scammers have increasinglystarted finding targets onsocial media, too.
After connecting with someone through a fake profile, thescammer will strike up a conversation and start building a relationship byregularly chatting with them. Once they start to trust the romance scammer andbelieve they have a truthful relationship, the cybercriminal will make up astory, ask them for money, and vanish.
Warning signs: Lies romance scammers tell
How can you identify a scammer? Well, you probably have a senseof what's considered normal behavior online. But it might be hard to seethrough an online dating scam when emotions are involved.
If you want to know how to tell if someone is scamming youonline, here are some telltale signs a cybercriminal may be the one sweepingyou off your feet.
They’re far, faraway
One of the first giveaways of a romance scammer is their background. Fakers often pose as someone who is stationed abroad to create areason for why they can't meet in person. Some common storiesinclude:
- They’re working on an oilrig.
- They’re in the military and/or deployed overseas.
- They’re a doctor in an international organization.
- They’re working on a construction project outside the U.S.
Since their story is so interesting, be sure to keep a close eyeon any inconsistencies in it.
Their profileseems too good to be true
A legitimate dating profile usually has plenty of photos of theperson in different situations, with one or two that show the person's wholebody, not just part of their face. The individual might also include links totheirInstagramor Facebookaccounts.
In contrast, a dating profile might be fake if the persondoesn't list any details. Or maybe their interests and hobbies almost exactlymatch yours — the similarities might be too good to be true.
The relationshipmoves fast
Online dating scam artists want to act fast before their targetscatch on to their tactics. For this reason, they like to gain your trust rightout of the gate. Some common approachesinclude:
- They profess their love to you surprisinglyquickly.
- They ask you to marrythem.
- They make a promise you will see each other.
- They ask to move communications off the dating site — you aren'tseeing other people anyway, right?
Many online dating sites offer some safety features, and if youmove your conversation to text messages or other chat options, you lose thosefeatures. Plus, the person will have your phone number, which could make itharder to cut communication.
In any event, it’s a good idea to pay attention to yourconversations and consider the following red flags:
- The person’s messages look like they could be copy-and-pastedinto any conversation.
- The conversation doesn't flow or make sense.
- Grammar and spelling are way off.
- They come up with different excuses when asked to video chat.
But they breakpromises to visit
Romance scammers want to keep their identities a secret. One wayto keep you from questioning their identity is a promise to come visit. Theymay even have you pay for plane tickets or other travel costs. But they'llcancel at the last minute, providing an elaborate reason for why they can't seeyou after all.
They claim theyneed money
If your online love interest asks you for money and you haven’t even met them, beware. A romance scammer may ask you to send money for thingslike:
- Travel expenses like a plane ticket orvisa.
- Medical expenses likesurgeries.
- Gambling debts.
- Family or personal emergencies.
And they usually have a sob story to back up their request.
An alternate money scam to watch for: They may send you money!This could rope you into a "money mule" scheme, whereby the scammerasks to deposit money into your bank account, distribute the funds to otherpeople, or deliver packages. These requests could be tied to money laundering.
And they ask forspecific payment methods
Be cautious if your cyber sweetheart asks you to send them moneyvia:
- Wire transfer
- Preloadedgift cards
- A newly established bank account in your name
These are ways to get cash quickly while remaining anonymous.Plus, the transactions are hard to reverse. Once you send a little bit ofmoney, they might even ask for more. If you say no, their messages may getdesperate and aggressive.
10 tips to avoidromance scammers and protect yourself
Online dating site scams often end with people losing money and,in some cases, even being pulled into criminal activity. Besides the financialcosts, there may be emotional costs, too. You may feel heartbroken, depressed,or embarrassed after someone you trusted scammed you.
That's why it's important to know how to outsmart a romancescammer and how to act fast if you think you’ve been scammed.
1. Be aware ofthe warning signs
Simply knowing how a romance scammer operates can help youidentify and avoid one. Remember some of the red flags and lies online romancescammers tell:
- They’re far, far away.
- Their profile seems too good to be true.
- The relationship moves fast.
- They break promises to visit.
- They claim they need money.
- They ask for specific payment methods.
2. Evaluate youronline presence
A few basiccybersecuritybest practicescan help protect you againstinternet scams. The more youshare, the more dating site scammers know about you — and know how to lure you.
For this reason, consider keeping your online dating profilesanonymous by using different usernames on sites or even different emails toprotect your privacy. Also, be careful what you make public onsocial media.
3. Approachonline relationships slowly
The internet can be an incredible place for community,developing friendships, and sometimes even relationships. But it’s alwaysimportant to take these relationships slowly, vet your new companionsthoroughly, and be wary if answers don’t add up.
4. Set up aphone or video chat early
Seeing someone’s face can be a surefire way to determine whetherthey’re real or fake. For this reason, set up a phone or video chat early on inyour communications with an online love interest. If they dodge theopportunity, they may be a romance scammer.
5. Don’t sendcompromising pictures
It's important toprotect yourselfonline, so never send compromising photos or videos of yourself tosomeone, especially if you haven’t met them in person. These could be used asblackmail later.
6. Do your ownsnooping, like a reverse image search
In the age ofsocial mediaand onlinedating, everyone has a digital presence waiting to be viewed. Do your homeworkon your cyber sweetheart by viewing their social media profiles. If theirprofile is bare or they have no connections, take it a step further with areverse image search to see if their photos are on other sites. To do this:
- Right click an image of the person.
- Click “Copy.”
- Visit images.google.com and paste the image.
Google will show you the websites where the image appearsonline. If it shows up on a stock photo site or seems to belong to someone elseentirely, then it could be part of a scam.
7. Never paysomeone you haven’t met, especially someone online
Don't give out your financial information, top off a cash reloadcard, or send gifts or money to someone you haven't met face to face. Neverwire money to a stranger or pay anyone with gift cards.
8. If they askyou for help, refer them elsewhere
Especially if your other cyber half is located outside of theU.S., be sure to refer them to a U.S. consulate or embassy if they ask for helpor money. It’s a reasonable response, since authorities would be able toprovide better help, especially if you just met them.
9. Ask someoneyou trust for a second opinion
When your emotions run deeply with someone, it’s hard to facethe reality that they’re not who you think they are. If you ever have aninkling that you’re caught up in an online dating scam, step back and ask atrusted friend or family member to give a second opinion about yourrelationship. They may see some warning signs of a romance scammer you didn’t.
10. Stopcommunicating and report the incident
If you’re suspicious or sure that you’re being scammed, cut offcommunication immediately and report the activity. Always consider thepossibility of it being a scam, even if you contacted them first.
How to report an online dating scam
It may be nearly impossible to recover money after you've beenscammed. But reporting these incidents helps federal investigators look forcommonalities and may help lead them to perpetrators.
For these reasons, take the following steps if you suspectyou’ve been scammed:
- Contact your bank right away if you’ve sent a romance scammermoney.
- Collect any records you have of your online relationship,including conversations and transactions.
- File a police report.
- Report the incident to:
20+ online datingscam statistics and trends
The unfortunate truth is that too many people have been part ofa love story that never ends happily ever after. Some of the proof is in theseonline dating scam statistics.
Romance scams onthe rise
Both loneliness and the development of new technologies havecontributed to the rise of online romance scams in recent years.
- In the first six months of 2023, half of those who reported financial losses due to online romance scams indicated the fraud started on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat. (FTC, October 2023)
- More than 36,000 people reported that social media was the medium or tool used to facilitate online crimes. (FBI, 2021 Internet Crime Report)
- The number of romance scams people reported to the FTC in 2022 was nearly 30% higher than the record-breaking amount reported in 2021. (FTC, February 2023)
- In 2022, nearly 70,000 consumers filed a report with the FTC about romance scams. (FTC, February 2022)
- More than 19,000 people fell for confidence/romance scams in 2022. (FBI, 2022 Internet Crime Report)
Romance scams aregetting costlier
Internet romance scams can affect your emotional well-being andsense of trust and can also be costly and irreversible.
- More than any other FTC fraud category, individuals have reported losing an incredible $1.3 billion to romance scams from 2017-2022. (FTC, February 2023)
- In 2021, people reported losing $547 million to romance scams. That’s more than six times higher than it was four years prior, at $87 million in 2017. (FTC, February 2022)
- In 2022, the median individual amount loss to a romance scam was reportedly $4,400. (FTC, February 2023)
- The reported financial losses due to romance scams increased by more than 80% from 2021’s high of $2,400 to $4,400 in 2022. (FTC, February 2023)
- Confidence/romance scams cost individuals over $730 million in 2022. (FBI, 2022 Internet Crime Report)
Older adults aremost susceptible
Dating scams can happen with people of all ages but are especiallyrisky for older adults.
- Older adults reported a higher aggregate dollar loss to romance scams than to any other type of scam in 2021. (FTC 2021-2022 Protecting Older Consumers Report)
- Older adults reportedly lost around $213 million in romance scams in 2021, followed by business imposter scams at $151 million. (FTC 2021-2022 Protecting Older Consumers Report)
- Bank transfers and payments sent in connection with romance scams accounted for about $43 million, over a fifth of the dollars older adults reported romance scam losses. (FTC 2021-2022 Protecting Older Consumers Report)
- Romance scammers reportedly took an additional $40 million (up from $12 million in 2020) total in cryptocurrency from older adults. (FTC 2021-2022 Protecting Older Consumers Report)
Stalkerware istrending up
Some people associate the use of stalkerware, a software thatenables someone to monitor a person's device without their knowledge, withromance scams. But the two are distinctly different. Romance scams are designedto trick you for financial gain from afar. Stalkerware is used by someone closeto you or in a relationship with you to spy on you, and it could lead to harm.Like romance scams, stalkerware is also on the rise.
- 86% of adultsare unaware of stalkerware or have onlyheard the name.
(2021 Norton CyberSafety Insights Report) - Around42%of younger Americans from ages 18-39 whocurrently have a romantic partner believe their partner is at least somewhatlikely to download an application to monitor their activity.
(2021 Norton CyberSafety Insights Report) - 3 in 5Gen Z and millennial Americans ages18-39 have admitted to stalking an ex or current partner online.
(2021 Norton CyberSafety Insights Report) - There was a63% uptickin the number of devices infectedwith stalkerware, amounting to more than 250,000 compromised devices per month,between September 2020 and May 2021.
(2021 Norton CyberSafety Insights Report) - Men arethree times more likelythan women to useinvasive apps to spy on a significant other.
(2021 Norton CyberSafety Insights Report) - More than one-third of Americans ages 18-39believe it is harmless to stalk a current or former partner online. (2021 Norton CyberSafety Insights Report)
Falling in love can be great. But before you let someone stealyour heart online, keep these romance scam warning signs and online datingpointers top of mind.
After all, you don’t want your love story to end in acybercrime— everyonedeserves a happily ever after.
