But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise
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Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply
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Start with the end in mind
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To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions
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We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it
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Habit 1: Be ProactiveHabit 2: Begin with the End in MindHabit 3: Put First Things FirstHabit 4: Think Win/WinHabit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6: SynergizeHabit 7: Sharpen the Saw
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When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective
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Two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It's not logical; it's psychological
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Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny
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It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us
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If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control - myself
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to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know
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It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgment. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake
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Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do)
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Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her
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At some time in your life, you probably had someone believe in you when you didn't believe in yourself
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The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person
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Ineffective people live day after day with unused potential
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Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions
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As you care less about what people think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves
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Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education
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There's no better way to inform and expand you mind on a regular basis than to get into the habit of reading good literature
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How you treat the one reveals how youregard the many, because everyone is ultimately a one
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How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most
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People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them
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If you want to have a more pleasant,cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, emphatic, consistent, loving parent
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Treat them all the same by treating them differently
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To maintain the P/PC Balance, the balance between the golden egg (production) and the health and welfare of the goose (production capability) is often a difficult judgment call. But I suggest it is the very essence of effectiveness
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Where we stand depends on where we sit." Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them
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When air is charged with emotions, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection
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The only person I know, is the person I want to be
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people have character strength but they lack communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well
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The person who doesn’t read is no better off than the person who can’t read
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The core of any family is what is changeless, what is going to be there──shared vision and values
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Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem
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Attending church does not necessarily mean living the principles taught in those meeting. You can be active in a church but inactive in its gospel
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Each of us guard a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside
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Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment
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leadership is communicating others’ worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves
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Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make
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Principles are the territory. Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth -- a knowledge of things as they are
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them
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We can't live without eating, but we don't live to eat
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It's sometimes a painful process. It's a change that has to be motivated by a higher purpose, by the willingness to subordinate what you think you want now for what you want later
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The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities
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If you don't let a teacher know what level you are -- by asking a question, or revealing your ignorance -- you will not learn or grow
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When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them. But, as the demonstration shows, sincere, clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience
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You can buy a person's hand, but you can't buy his heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can't buy his brain. That's where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his resourcefulness
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All the well-meaning advice in the world won't amount to a hill of beans if we're not even addressing the real problem
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Inevitably, anytime we are too vulnerable we feel the need to protect ourselves from further wounds. So we resort to sarcasm, cutting humor, criticism -- anything that will keep from exposing the tenderness within. Each partner tends to wait on the initiative of the other for love, only to be disappointed but also confirmed as to the rightness of the accusations made
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Being is seeing in the human dimension
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People who end up with the good jobs are the proactive ones who are solutions to problems, not problems themselves, who seize the initiative to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles, to get the job done
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Perhaps a sense of possessing needs to come to come before a sense of genuine sharing
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The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circ*mstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values—carefully thought about, selected and internalized values
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churchgoing is not synonymous with personal spirituality. There are some people who get so busy in church worship and projects that they become insensitive to the pressing human needs that sourround them, contradicting the very precepts they profess to believe deeply
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The way we see things is the source of the way we think or the way we act
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They [Nazi captors]had more liberty, more options to choose from in their environment; but he [Viktor Frankl] had more freedom, more internal power to exercise his options
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Show me someone who is humble enough to accept and take responsibility for his or her circ*mstances and courageous enough to take whatever initiative is necessary to creatively work his or her through or around these challenges, and I'll show you supreme power of choice
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If you carefully consider what you wanted to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success
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Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things
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Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least
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As a principle-centered person, you see things differently. And because you see things differently, you think differently, you act differently. Because you have a high degree of security, guidance, wisdom, and power that flows from a solid, unchanging core, you have the foundation of a highly proactive and highly effective life
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Inside-Out" means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self -- with your paradigms, your character, and your motives
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The reflection of the current social paradigm tells us we are largely determined by conditioning and conditions
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My experience has been that there are times to teach and times not to teach. When relationships are strained and the air charged with emotion, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection
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You have to water the flowers you want to grow
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