As The Telegraph’s family travel editor, I hear this argument all the time. “It’s a waste to take a young child on holiday. They won’t even remember it.”
Leave the kids at home, some parents say. Don’t take them on any long-haul trips till they’re teens, say others.
Now, hear this: parents keen to take their children abroad should wait until they are at least five, according to a research psychologist specialising in child development who argues that - you guessed it - the youngster is unlikely to remember anything earlier.
While adults typically recall events from age 3½ or four, Dr Amanda Gummer argues for a slightly later kick-off for foreign trips. “Five to eight years old is a good time to start, as children can then really appreciate the whole experience,” she says, adding that those under five are “unlikely to remember the holiday” at all.
Why is five a pivotal age?
Dr Gummer’s advice is supported by a new study which found that five was the most common age to which adults date their earliest holiday memory, regardless of whether they’d been abroad when they were younger.
Around 20 per cent adults were five at the time of their first holiday memory, according to the study by the family travel operator Florida4Less. For a third of those polled, this first travel memory involved flying on a plane or being at an airport, followed by swimming, either at a beach (20 per cent) or in a pool (11 per cent).
Five is a golden age, according to Dr Gummer, because it “coincides with the start of school, so the chances are the child may have done a show and tell about the holiday, which would make it more memorable.”
It is also a turning point in the child’s ability to interact more fully. “At this age, their language is usually well developed, so they can ask questions and join in conversations about the trip, helping solidify the memory in their mind,” she says.
But is memory the right metric for evaluating a holiday?
Just because we remember something doesn’t mean that it was a pleasure. As Dr Gummer observes: “Novelty and emotion are key factors in memory creation, so if a child has never done something before and is excited, or even a little frightened, they are likely to remember it more readily.”
The only argument against bringing children abroad that I’ve ever found 100 per cent convincing is cost. If the only way around a lack of funds is debt, then that is a pretty miserable life lesson for all involved.
But this obsession with memory, and thetut-tutting that parents who bring young children abroad are doing it only for themselves, misses an important aspect of development.
Your child may remember tracking a warthog in Kenya, aged five. They may remember, as I do, the moment their uncle stripped down to his Y-fronts before an audience of aghast and prudish New Englanders to retrieve a float whisked across a lake by the wind.
And they may not.
But there are far more important reasons than the excruciating “creating memories to last a lifetime” to take your child outside of the predictability of their home environment.
“Travel is a great foundation for learning life skills that you can’t get at home,” Dr Erica Reischer, a clinical psychologist based in Oakland, California, and author of What Great Parents Do: 75 simple strategies for raising fantastic kids.
“For example: how to manoeuvre in an unfamiliar environment; how to ask for help (politely); how to be strategic in getting what you need; how to navigate a new place; how to be comfortable in an unfamiliar environment; how to collaborate with people unfamiliar to you.”
Frankly, a refresher course in these life skills wouldn’t be a bad idea for most adults I know. Two-thirds of our conversations with our children are about our daily routines. Whether it’s a road trip to a campground in Spain or living large in a Maldivian villa, I’d do pretty much anything my bank balance would allow to break that monotony. Does it have to be abroad? Not necessarily. But why not? Even if my children don’t remember it, they’ll bank the life skills and, do you know what? I’ll remember it. I’ll tell them about it.
