If you are over 35 years old and are looking for a serious relationship, Match.com is still the best dating app you can join. It gets more visitors than any other traditional dating site (24.6 million in November of 2022, according to Similarweb), and they have the best search tool, making these tips to succeed on Match.com in 2023 essential.
Why Choose Match.com?
Without a big database of singles and a good search tool, you have nothing. There are a ton of dating sites and apps that claim to have magic algorithms designed to help you find the perfect match, but there’s an easy way to tell that they are not telling you the complete truth. If any dating site actually came up with an algorithm that could really help you find the love of your life, they would be the only dating site in the world.
Tips on How to Succeed on Match.com in 2023
That’s not to say Match is the perfect dating site. It has more than enough flaws to make dating a pain in the butt. The key to using Match is in knowing how to avoid the useless parts and utilize the core functions of the app so that you can get the most out of it. 2023 is going to be a great year to find love and I think Match is going to be one of the best places to do it. Here are tips on how to give yourself the best chance of finding love and succeed on Match.com in 2023:
1. Turn Off Almost All of Your Notification Emails
The only notifications you need from Match are about people who have actively liked your or messaged you. Everything else is marketing. One of the worst things about Match is its recommendation engine. It might be loosely based on your preferences, but it is heavily weighted toward monetization. If you set your search up correctly, there isn’t a single person in your recommendations that won’t also be in your search results.
To turn off your email notifications just go to the settings page of your account (it looks like a little gear in the upper right-hand corner). From there, select email notifications. Then, change member notifications to never and uncheck all other options aside from Likes and Super Likes. This will assure that the only email notifications you get are regarding people that have shown real interest in you. If you set it up correctly, it should look like this:
2. Subscribe to the Premium Plan
I’m not trying to trick you into spending more money, and I do not make a commission by suggesting you go premium. It’s just the only membership plan on Match that helps you succeed. Besides, a six-month premium membership is only $2 more per month than a standard. What makes it so important to your success? On Match, only paid members can send and receive messages. If you send a message to an unpaid member, they get a system message telling them they need to subscribe if they want to see their message and who it is from.
So, you could send someone a message and think that they didn’t like you, but they really just never got your message. Premium members are the only members who can see which members are paid. As a premium member, all other paid members will be tagged with a “Subscriber” badge on their profile. Standard members do not have the ability to see this, making it more difficult to succeed on Match.com in 2023. The benefit for you is that you can tell who can read your messages and you don’t have to waste your time messaging someone who can’t read or respond to it.
3. Use the Search Tool to Succeed on Match.com in 2023
It is very easy to get sucked into the Top Picks they show you on the home screen of the app and the website, but that is not where you are going to find a date. Use the search tool; it is the only way to get around the marketing algorithm. You can search for the specific criteria you want without anything getting in your way. Within the search tool you will see options like “Mutual Match” and “Reverse Search”. These are also useless. Stick with the normal search and it will give you everything you need.
4. Know the Difference Between Preferences and Non-Negotiables
If the search tool has one danger, it’s that there is a temptation to turn your search into wish fulfillment. We all have things that we NEED in a partner, and we also have things that would be nice to have. Take a minute to think about what things really matter to you. Those are the only things that belong in your search. If you search for perfect, you’ll eliminate a ton of good and great along the way… and you’ll still never find perfect. I’m not telling you to settle. I’m saying that there are some things that really matter in a partner and some things that aren’t really that important when you think about it.
5. Sort! Sort! Sort!
Setting up your search correctly is only half of the battle on Match.com. You have to sort it correctly. On the upper right-hand corner of the screen, you’ll see a little symbol that looks like an up-and-down arrow made out of two harpoons. This is the sort button. When you click on it, you’ll notice that “Top Picks” is highlighted. You don’t want that.
You want the second choice, “Activity Date.” This will sort your search results by the order in which people have most recently logged in. This is the ONLY sorting option of value. How recently people have logged in is much more important than if they are new. Just remember. Every time that you leave the app or the website, the sorting option will always revert back to “Top Picks.” Make sure you change it to “Activity Date” every time you log back in and run your search.
6. Accuracy and Honesty Matter in Your Profile and Your Photos
I have had at least fifteen people this week admit to me that they are fudging their age or body type in their profiles. I’ve also had several people ask if decade-old photos are OK because “They still look pretty much the same…” There are a lot of people out there who are convinced that they don’t have a chance if they are honest. The truth is that you don’t have a chance if you aren’t. There might be someone who doesn’t want to date you because of your age or because you have put on 20 lbs. since you felt your finest.
That isn’t going to change when they find out the truth. The only difference is that now they’ll know that you were dishonest with them. It makes you look insecure and untrustworthy. What feels like a little white lie to you can easily call everything else you’ve told someone into question when they find out that you were willing to lie about something so significant. Honesty is key to making sure you can succeed on Match.com in 2023.
7. Your Profile Matters
A lot of people really phone in their profiles on dating sites. I would argue that around 90% of the dating profiles out there right now need significant improvement. Half of them barely say anything or just give a list of qualities and the other half feel like you are reading a sales pitch for a used car. No one wants to feel like they have to be convinced to like you and no one wants to feel like you think you are too good to put in some effort.
We are all on dating sites to meet people and first impressions matter. Your profile shouldn’t be an ad, it should be a window into your life and the things that are important to you. Let people see who you are, and you will have a much better chance at connecting. If you aren’t sure how to write your profile, we’ve got you covered. Check out our profile writing services.
8. Don’t Send Likes, Send Messages
Sending a like is weak. You could literally like someone’s profile by accident. When you send a message, it shows intent and interest. Use your first message to start a conversation. Don’t just throw out a line or a compliment that you think is clever. It doesn’t work and they’ve heard it before.
Find something that you’d like to have a conversation with them about and ask them about it. Don’t ask about multiple things, this isn’t an interrogation. Just ask them one question about something they’ve written about in their profile. This will let them know that you were interested enough in them to read their profile and that you are actually interested in getting to know them as a person.
9. Be Patient
Online dating sites are just a database of people and a search tool. There is no promise on any given day that there will be someone you want or someone who wants you. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. It just means that compatibility is a tricky thing and finding the people you fit with takes time. I used online dating sites for multiple years before meeting my wife. I wasn’t failing at online dating before I met her, we just weren’t in the same place at the same time until we were.
Dating sites can give you a lot of data and pictures to look at, but they aren’t an all-you-can-eat buffet. No matter what the marketing for the dating industry tells you, compatibility isn’t simple, and finding someone online isn’t as easy as signing up and swiping for a couple of minutes. The important thing is that you are patient and that you are set up for success when the right people come along.
I hope this helps you get off to a good start with 2023. If you have any questions, I’d love to help you succeed on Match.com in 2023. You can call me at 888-447-7634 or you can contact me here.
