Toxic Relationship | Charlie Health (2024)

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Toxic Relationship | Charlie Health (1)

Updated: June 28, 2024

5 min.

The impact that toxic relationships have on mental health and strategies for recognizing and healing from them.

By: Charlie Health Editorial Team

Clinically Reviewed By: Dr. Don Gasparini

Learn more about our Clinical Review Process

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A toxic relationship is any relationship that is damaging to your mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being — whether that’s with a friend, romantic partner, family member, or someone else. Toxic relationships can be emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. They can leave people feeling helpless, insecure, and traumatized. However, it can be difficult to recognize when a relationship is toxic, since people often become desensitized to toxic behaviors over time. Below we delve into toxic relationships, how they affect mental health, and how to handle them.

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What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is an unhealthy relationship in which one or both people involved exhibit controlling, manipulative, or abusive behaviors. These behaviors can manifest in various ways. Some signs of a toxic relationship include:

  • Constant criticism and belittling
  • Explosive anger and outbursts
  • Isolation from friends and family
  • Gaslighting and denial of reality
  • Blaming and shaming
  • Passive-aggressive behavior
  • Withholding affection and attention
  • Jealousy and possessiveness

Is there a difference between a toxic relationship and an abusive relationship?

In short, yes — there is a distinction between a toxic relationship and an abusive relationship. Both kinds of relationships involve harmful behaviors, but abusive relationships involve a deliberate pattern of control and harm, whereas toxic relationships generally involve unhealthy dynamics that may not always escalate to abuse but still impact well-being negatively.

More specifically, abusive relationships involve behaviors intended to exert power and control over another person. This can include physical violence, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual assault or abuse, or financial abuse. Abuse is characterized by a pattern of behavior aimed at maintaining dominance and often escalates over time, causing significant harm to the victim’s physical and mental health.

Toxic relationships, on the other hand, typically refer to a dynamic where there is consistent negativity, manipulation, or dysfunction that drains emotional energy and causes distress. Toxic behaviors can include excessive criticism, lack of support, emotional volatility, or control issues. While toxic relationships can be damaging to one’s well-being and self-esteem, they may not always involve deliberate harm or intent to control.

Toxic relationships

Abusive relationship

  • Involve unhealthy dynamics that negatively impact well-being
  • Drain emotional energy and cause distress
  • May not always escalate to abuse
  • Involve a deliberate pattern of control and harm
  • Cause significant harm to the victim’s physical and mental health
  • Characterized by behaviors intended to exert power and control over another person

Are toxic relationships limited to romantic relationships?

No — toxic relationships can be found in all areas of life, including friendships, family relationships, and workplace relationships. While romantic relationships are often the first type of relationship that comes to mind when discussing toxic relationships, it is important to recognize that toxicity can manifest in any relationship.

As outlined above, in a romantic relationship, toxic behavior may include controlling behavior, manipulation, jealousy, and physical or verbal abuse. However, toxic behavior can also occur in non-romantic relationships. For example, a toxic friendship may involve a friend who constantly puts you down, spreads rumors about you, or uses you for their own benefit. In a toxic family relationship, a family member may use emotional manipulation or guilt to control you.

The link between toxic relationships and mental health

Toxic relationships can have a significant impact on an individual’s mental health. The harmful behavior in a toxic relationship can cause emotional distress, leading to mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

In a toxic relationship, the person being subjected to the harmful behavior may start to doubt their own self-worth and abilities. They may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells and be in a state of heightened anxiety or fear. Over time, these feelings can become overwhelming and lead to chronic stress, which can harm the physical and mental health of the person.

Toxic relationships can also affect an individual’s social and emotional well-being. The person may feel isolated and cut off from their support system, as the toxic partner may isolate them from friends and family. This isolation can lead to a lack of social support, which is essential for maintaining good mental health.

The effects of toxic relationships can persist long after the relationship has ended. Individuals may struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and anxiety, which can impact their ability to form healthy relationships in the future. Seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial in addressing the impact of toxic relationships and building healthy coping mechanisms.

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How to heal from a toxic relationship

Healing from a toxic relationship is a process that requires time, self-care, and support. Remember, healing from a toxic relationship is a personal journey, and it’s important to move at your own pace and seek help when needed. Here are steps that can help in the healing journey:

Acknowledge the impact

Recognize and validate the emotional and psychological impact the toxic relationship has had on you. Accepting your feelings is the first step towards healing.

Seek support

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can provide comfort and perspective. It’s also important to consider seeking therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can help you process your emotions, develop coping strategies, and rebuild your self-esteem.

Set boundaries

Establish and maintain boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. In some cases, it is possible to repair a toxic relationship. However, not all toxic relationships can be fixed, and in some cases setting boundaries might include limiting or cutting off contact with the toxic individual. These are topics you can discuss with a therapist.

Practice self-care

Focus on self-care activities that promote your well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and engaging in hobbies you enjoy. You can also work on rebuilding your self-esteem by practicing self-compassion and positive self-talk. Celebrate your strengths and accomplishments.

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How Charlie Health can help

If you or a loved one is struggling with a toxic relationship, Charlie Health is here to help with the healing process. Charlie Health’s virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides more than once-weekly mental health treatment for people and families dealing with serious mental health conditions. Our expert clinicians incorporate evidence-based therapies into individual counseling, family therapy, and group sessions. With this kind of holistic online therapy, managing your mental health is possible. Fill out the form below or give us a call to start healing today.

Toxic Relationship | Charlie Health (2024)

FAQs

Can you make a toxic relationship healthy? ›

With mindful communication and commitment from both sides, it's possible to work through the toxicity in your relationship and build something healthier going forward.

How much time does it take to heal from a toxic relationship? ›

When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.

How to let go of a toxic relationship when you still love them? ›

So, How Do You Leave A Toxic Relationship When You Love Someone?
  1. Step 1: Avoid Denial. ...
  2. Step 2: Stop Waiting for Your Partner to Change. ...
  3. Step 3: Accept That You're Only in Control of Your Actions. ...
  4. Step 4: Establish And Maintain Very Clear Boundaries. ...
  5. Step 5: Lean on Friends and Family.
Nov 22, 2021

Can a toxic relationship ever be fixed? ›

Some toxic relationships can become healthy, but it requires significant effort, commitment, and often professional help.

Can you fix a toxic relationship without therapy? ›

Establish healthy communication

The main goal is to re-establish clear lines of communication. The silent treatment won't work on a toxic partner; you need to express criticism. You will have to convey your feelings and concerns to your partner positively. Talk things through, use the list that you made for reference.

Is a toxic relationship worth saving? ›

If you genuinely believe that efforts to save the marriage are worth it and there's potential for positive change, it might be worth exploring. However, if the toxicity persists and there's no hope for improvement, prioritizing your own well-being might lead you to a different decision.

What not to do after a toxic relationship? ›

It will be crucial for you to cut off contact with your ex once the relationship has ended. Keeping in contact with your ex opens the door to getting back together. Toxic people can be emotionally manipulative and may use emotional blackmail to lure you back in.

What happens to your body after you leave a toxic relationship? ›

This trauma can often lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, disordered eating, low self-esteem and self-harm such as cutting. Mental health and traumatic triggers are directly linked to toxic relationships and vice versa.

What happens when you stay in a toxic relationship for too long? ›

The link between toxic relationships and mental health

They may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells and be in a state of heightened anxiety or fear. Over time, these feelings can become overwhelming and lead to chronic stress, which can harm the physical and mental health of the person.

How to tell a toxic person goodbye? ›

Some simple preparations can help us be loving and compassionate in the midst of any relationship breakup.
  1. Let it out. ...
  2. Write a forgiveness letter. ...
  3. Offer a consecration. ...
  4. Ask for guidance. ...
  5. Non-Violent Communication. ...
  6. Allow the Other Person Their Emotions. ...
  7. Forgive Yourself.

How do you accept a toxic relationship is over? ›

Most relationship experts say one of the best things you can do after a breakup of any kind is to give yourself time to heal. This is especially true after a toxic relationship. Take all the time you need after you close that chapter to breathe and savor life again. Focus on what matters in your life.

Why can't I let go of someone who is bad for me? ›

#4 You're Used to Getting Treated Poorly

Another reason it's hard to let go of toxic people is because you're used to getting treated badly. Personally, I grew up with a lot of emotional abuse. So, I thought that was a normal part of all relationships.

What do toxic boyfriends say? ›

1. “You don't deserve me.” Language that reflects contempt communicates to your partner that you believe they are less-than you, which can damage their self-esteem. For example: “You're lucky that I even put up with you.”

What are the three early warning signs indicating that the relationship is toxic? ›

Red flags in relationships are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behavior. Examples include controlling behavior, lack of respect, love bombing, and emotional or physical abuse. These behaviors may start subtly but tend to become more problematic over time, potentially leading to toxic dynamics.

How to turn a toxic relationship into a healthy one? ›

10 Steps To Fix A Toxic Relationship
  1. Recognize the toxicity. The first step towards fixing a toxic relationship is acknowledging the presence of toxicity. ...
  2. Open communication. ...
  3. Seek professional help. ...
  4. Set boundaries. ...
  5. Practice self-care. ...
  6. Foster empathy and understanding. ...
  7. Take responsibility for your actions. ...
  8. Reinforce positivity.
Aug 1, 2023

Can a toxic relationship be saved after a breakup? ›

While there are ways to turn a toxic relationship around, it's important to acknowledge that not all toxic relationships can be saved.

Can a toxic person change? ›

Our personalities are fluid and change as we learn, grow, and experience new things. Most people can change their toxic traits if they: Work to identify them. Understand their impact.

How do you keep a relationship healthy after a toxic one? ›

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial in navigating a new romantic relationship after a toxic one. This involves clearly communicating your needs, expectations, and limits with a partner. You can journal these things as you think about the past toxic relationship to have a guide to look back on if needed.

Do toxic relationships ever last? ›

And the answer is that most toxic relationship will eventually break up (which is probably the right decision), some will last, but it doesn't mean it's going to be a great experience and a few more will turn into a healthy non-toxic relationship if both parties apply the effort.

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