In the context of relationships, there are two types of value: "objective value" and "subjective value". Objective value is the external qualities that can be measured or observed by others. This includes your physical appearance, intelligence, wealth, or any other quantifiable trait. These objective values can initially draw someone to you, but they are not the things that sustain deep, long-term relationships. This is why even people who seem perfect on paper - those with great looks, high intelligence, or immense wealth - can still experience heartbreak.
Subjective value, on the other hand, represents the emotional and personal qualities that make you unique, lovable, and compatible with another person. This could include your sense of humor, the way you listen when your partner is upset, how you make them feel loved and appreciated, your shared memories and experiences, and the emotional support you provide. These are the things that make a relationship meaningful and satisfying in the long run.
If you're trying to improve yourself solely for the sake of winning your ex back, you're likely focused on boosting your objective value. You might be hitting the gym harder, dressing better, or showcasing your successes more prominently. While these improvements aren't inherently bad, they won't increase your subjective value, which is what truly matters for rekindling a relationship.
Moreover, constantly trying to improve for your ex can put them on a pedestal in your mind, enhancing their value and creating an additional imbalance. This will lead to increased anxiety, desperation, and a lack of self-esteem, which ultimately diminish your chances of establishing a satisfying relationship.
Instead, aim to improve yourself for you, not for anyone else. This is actually the key to establishing lasting relationships - and to a happier life, in general. Truly loving and caring for yourself is one of the most important things you can do. You deserve to achieve your fullest potential in all aspects of your life! Embrace a healthy lifestyle to be fit and strong. Cultivate confidence in your abilities and decisions. Seek wealth not only in monetary terms, but also in knowledge, experiences, and meaningful relationships. Strive for personal growth, fortifying your character with resilience, compassion, and wisdom. In essence, seek richness in life, inside and out.
"But what about subjective value?" It increases automatically while you maintain your no contact.
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