You may have heard the word toxic perfectionism thrown around or this is your first time hearing about it. You might wonder if it’s any different than regular perfectionism and what does toxic perfectionism entail? Perfectionism involves aiming for high standards, achievement, and excellence. If you are a perfectionist you might be motivated to do well in work, school, and in your relationships. You want to be successful in many parts of your life. So when does it turn toxic? Honestly, I haven’t met a balanced perfectionist because as humans we aren’t mentally and emotionally equipped to obtain perfection constantly. However, let's explore more about the term toxic perfectionism and how anxiety therapy can help.
What is toxic perfectionism?
Toxic perfectionism is a mindset that is rigid on holding yourself or others to unrealistically high standards. These high standards are not attainable and result in burnout and strained relationships. It is common that these perfectionists to be angry and disappointed when they don’t achieve their goals. Toxic perfectionists will take a hit on their self-esteem when they are unable to achieve the goals or expectations they have for themselves. They may also become overly critical of themselves or others.Like perfectionists, toxic perfectionism can be focused on people pleasing at their own expense. As a result, these perfectionists experience symptoms of anxiety and depression. Toxic perfectionism disregards the effort and growth that might occur trying to achieve goals because of the intense focus on a perfect outcome.
What are the symptoms of toxic perfectionism?
Not everyone that experiences toxic perfectionism will have all of the listed symptoms. These are just some of the common symptoms of toxic perfectionism:
Unrealistic standards
Fear of failure
Critical of self and others
Need for control
Procrastination
Rigidity
Somatic symptoms
Interpersonal relationship difficulties
Anxiety
Depression
Insomnia or trouble sleeping
Imposter syndrome
What causes toxic perfectionism?
There’s never a simple answer to complex issues such as toxic perfectionism. Toxic perfectionism can be influenced by so many factors. Here are some common factors to consider:
Genetics
There is research suggesting that genetic factors can contribute to the development of perfectionistic tendencies. There’s so much we still don’t know about genes and how it relates to perfectionism but at this point, we know there is some relationship.
2. Parenting and childhood experiences
Being raised by perfectionistic parents or parents who have high expectations can lead to toxic perfectionism. When there is a strong emphasis on achievement and success in a family, this influences perfectionistic behaviors.
3. Trauma
Those who have experienced trauma may have learned to cope using perfectionistic behaviors. Those who have been through trauma may have learned that they experienced less emotional or physical abuse when they were successful.
4. Personality traits
Certain personality traits may be more prone to become toxic perfectionists. Personality traits such as high conscientiousness, neuroticism, need for control, high standards, and OCD traits.
