What to say to someone who is going through a tough time (2024)

When someone is feeling down or going through a tough time it is important to take them seriously. Give the person space to explain what they are going through. Let them tell you how they feel.

Avoid rejecting the person's experiences and feelings. Try not to lessen how they feel. Do not try to change how they feel or their point of view.

Do not tell the person they're wrong

If someone is talking about their experiences and emotions, there are no wrongs. You may not experience the same situation in the same way.

You are not listening if you say things like:

  • "You shouldn't feel this bad"
  • "You're over-reacting"
  • "It's not as bad as you think"

Do not talk too much

Try to hold back from offering too much advice or your own experiences. Try and listen to their understanding and experience. Do not try to change their mind. The first step is to listen.

Do not try to solve their problem

It can be more important to know that someone else has heard you than to have someone suggest solutions.

Ask them if they know what they want to do next. It may help them to think about how they can help themselves.

Examples of what not to say:

  • "It's not that bad"
  • "Things will get better"
  • "How could you be so selfish?"

These reactions can result in the person feeling misunderstood and more isolated than ever.

Instead, listen to what they are going through.

Helpful things to say

Encourage them to talk by saying:

  • "Can you tell me more about what's going on?"
  • "If you want to tell me more, I'm here to listen"
  • "I've noticed you haven't been yourself, is there anything on your mind?"
  • "I can see this is hard for you to open up about. It's ok to take your time. I'm not in any rush"

Show them you sympathise by saying:

  • "It sounds like you're dealing with a lot at the moment"
  • "I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling like this right now"
  • "I'm really glad you're sharing this with me"

Focus on their feelings

Encourage the person to share how they felt emotionally about what is upsetting them. Asking the person will not upset them more but may allow the emotions they've been holding in to be released. Voicing painful feelings can help to reduce emotional distress.

Active listening

Use your body language to show the other person your attention is fully on them. Try to face them and not get distracted by other things such as your mobile phone or the TV.

Organisations that provide mental health supports and services

What to say to someone who is going through a tough time (2024)

FAQs

What to say to someone who is going through a tough time? ›

Some Comforting Text Messages

- "I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Please know that I'm here for you, and you can talk to me whenever you need to." - "I can't imagine how tough this must be for you, but I want you to know that I care about you, and I'm here to support you."

How to give advice to someone who is going through a hard time? ›

These are the most effective:
  1. Ask them how they are feeling. Then, listen non-judgmentally to their response. ...
  2. Show them that you want to understand and express sympathy. ...
  3. Ask how you can support them and resist jumping in to problem-solve. ...
  4. Check in to see if they are suicidal. ...
  5. Reassure them, realistically.
Dec 10, 2019

How to comfort someone over text when they are going through a hard time? ›

Some Comforting Text Messages

- "I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Please know that I'm here for you, and you can talk to me whenever you need to." - "I can't imagine how tough this must be for you, but I want you to know that I care about you, and I'm here to support you."

How do you comfort someone who is having a hard time? ›

7 Ways to Console Someone Going Through a Hard Time
  1. Be There for Them. We show up for the people we care about. ...
  2. Tell Them (and Show) That You Love Them. ...
  3. Let Them Know You're Thinking of Them.
  4. Take Time to Listen. ...
  5. A Hug Can Speak Volumes.
  6. Share Memories. ...
  7. Continue Offering Support.

What is the most comforting word? ›

What do you say to a friend going through a hard time?
  • I am so very sorry for your loss. ...
  • It makes sense to me that you might be feeling really down right now. ...
  • I'll be here for you no matter what your grief looks like.
  • There really are not words big enough to express how much tenderness I have for you right now.
May 26, 2022

How to respond to someone going through a hard time? ›

Focus on their feelings

Encourage the person to share how they felt emotionally about what is upsetting them. Asking the person will not upset them more but may allow the emotions they've been holding in to be released. Voicing painful feelings can help to reduce emotional distress.

How to motivate someone going through a tough time? ›

Here are my lessons learned on how to motivate others through tough times:
  1. Meet them where they are. ...
  2. Be supportive. ...
  3. Be directive. ...
  4. Give them a “why”. ...
  5. Acknowledge that it's tough. ...
  6. Don't do it alone. ...
  7. Recognize the small wins. ...
  8. Remind them it's not permanent.
Oct 12, 2023

What do you text someone going through a hard time quotes? ›

I know what you're going through is hard, but I'm rooting for you every minute of every day.” “Even when you might not feel it, you've got the strength to get through.” “I can't imagine how you feel. But I can listen when you need to talk.”

How to give emotional support over text? ›

Here are some suggestions for language to use to achieve this outcome:
  1. “I'm here for you.”
  2. “What do you need right now?”
  3. “I'm happy to listen any time.”
  4. “I'm sorry you are going through this.”
  5. “That sounds really challenging.”
  6. “I can see how that would be difficult.”
May 11, 2022

How do you write a message to comfort someone? ›

Thinking of you and wishing you moments of peace and comfort.” “I hope you know I'm here for you during this time of sorrow.” “Please accept my warmest condolences. I'm truly sorry for your loss.”

How do you wish someone strength in difficult times? ›

Give these words of comfort for a friend a try:
  • It's okay to be disappointed in yourself right now. ...
  • I know how hard you worked, and it's disappointing not to get the results you hoped for this time around, but I believe in your strength and resilience to keep pushing forward.
  • Take some time to rest and recharge.
Apr 10, 2023

How to comfort someone who is stressed over text? ›

To help you get started, we've compiled a list of 8 things to say to someone when they're stressed.
  1. “You're not alone.”
  2. “I'm your #1 fan!”
  3. “It's ok to take a break.”
  4. “How can I help?”
  5. “Your feelings are valid.”
  6. “You've done it before! You can do it again.”
  7. “Focus on one thing at a time.”
  8. “I'm here if you want to talk.”
Jun 11, 2020

How to tell someone you are thinking of them during a difficult time? ›

Or you could say “I'm so sorry for your loss, thinking of you during this time and sending you a big hug. Here for you, always”. "I'm thinking of you during this difficult time." Or "I'm thinking of you during this difficult time, please know I'm here for you.

What are some uplifting messages? ›

50 motivational quotes
  • "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." — ...
  • "Your self-worth is determined by you. ...
  • "Nothing is impossible. ...
  • "Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you." — ...
  • “You have brains in your head. ...
  • "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." —
Nov 30, 2023

What is a good quote to comfort someone? ›

“We are thinking of you during these difficult times.” “May my condolences bring you comfort and may my prayers ease the pain of this loss.” “We pray the love for the lost is forever carried in your memory.” “Words can't express how saddened we are to hear of your loss.”

What are uplifting quotes to make someone feel better? ›

5 Get Well Soon Quotes For Your Friend
  • These are difficult times, but I know that you're indestructible. ...
  • Look in the mirror, you're strong, beautiful, and ready to show this sickness who's boss.
  • You're getting closer to full health every day. ...
  • Everyone is hoping you make a speedy recovery.
Jan 16, 2023

What advice would you give to someone who is struggling? ›

Listen and Don't Panic

The first step to being okay is talking about how you feel, and your friend is going to need someone to listen when they're ready to open up. You don't need to try to fix their problems, just let them know that you care and that their feelings are important, heard and valid.

How do you give advice to someone who is overwhelmed? ›

8 Things to Say to Someone When They're Stressed
  1. “You're not alone.”
  2. “I'm your #1 fan!”
  3. “It's ok to take a break.”
  4. “How can I help?”
  5. “Your feelings are valid.”
  6. “You've done it before! You can do it again.”
  7. “Focus on one thing at a time.”
  8. “I'm here if you want to talk.”
Jun 11, 2020

How do you send a message to someone going through a hard time? ›

To a friend
  1. 1 I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, but I know you'll pull through.
  2. 2 Sending lots of love ahead of X. ...
  3. 3 Life threw you a real curveball, but I know there are better things to come. ...
  4. 4 Keeping you in my thoughts as X. ...
  5. 5 Perfection is overrated. ...
  6. 6 Your efforts and resilience are an inspiration.
Jan 24, 2024

How do you help someone going through a hard time mentally? ›

How you can help
  1. let them know you care and support them.
  2. treat them with respect and dignity.
  3. talk with them about their feelings.
  4. suggest that speaking to someone they feel comfortable with, their GP or other mental health professional, may help them feel better.

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