Maybe you already have things that you say when people say hurtful things to you. Or you might find it helpful to talk to your friends and family about things you could say and get them to help you think about how you might answer.
As a practice, try this out:
- Write down two comments people have said about you that you didn’t like.
- Write down a reply for each comment.
- Now, say your replies out loud using a strong voice.
Reassure yourself
People can be hurtful and unkind because they don’t understand why you look different. It is not OK to make unkind comments to someone, for any reason. When people say hurtful things to you, it can help to be ready with ways to make yourself feel calmer.
Some things you might want to say to yourself in your head are:
- “It’s their problem not mine.”
- “If they don’t want to get to know me and see I am more than how I look, then I don’t need to think about what they say to me.”
- “I am more than how I look.”
- “It’s not worth me getting upset over unkind people.”
If someone has been unkind and you feel sad or angry, find someone to talk to about how you are feeling, like your mum, dad or carer, teacher, friend or family member.
When people say hurtful things to you, remember…
Try not to let the person see that you are upset or angry. They may even be trying to get a reaction from you. The best thing is not to react.
It is better to calmly show the person you heard them and you’re not OK with their comments. This shows you as a strong person who is not going to let them get to you.
It may not feel fair. This person has been really unkind to you and you might want to tell them exactly what you think of them! But if you get angry then the other person will probably get angry too and be even more unkind to you.
It is best to find another way to cope with the anger you are feeling. Speak to family or friends or write it down. Maybe write down what you wanted to say.
