“Where Are You From?”: What It Means & How to Respond (2024)

Co-authored byBailey ChoReviewed byTami Claytor

Last Updated: August 28, 2023Fact Checked

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   “Where are you from?” is another way of asking where you grew up. In other words, people are interested in the city, state, and/or country you grew up in. This question usually comes up if you mention you’re new to the area, or if the other person wants to get to know you better. It’s a polite and casual way to start a conversation, ask about your background, and find ways to connect with you.^[1]

   • For instance, if you and your colleague both grew up in Texas (and currently live in New York), you might bond over shared experiences like going to Schlitterbahn over the summer or eating honey butter chicken biscuits from Whataburger.
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   “Where are you from?” is also asked to find out where you currently live. When you’re traveling, someone might ask you this question if you don’t look (or sound) like a local to your current area. To them, it’s obvious that you live in another city, state, and/or country, and they want to know where you’re visiting them from.^[2]

   • For example, if you’re visiting Los Angeles (but currently live in Boston), someone might ask, “where are you from?” because you have an accent.

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   This question can also be used to figure out your race or ethnicity. Sometimes, people ask this question if they’re curious about the country your parents or ancestors are from. This usually happens if you don’t look like a local to the current area, and the other person might even ask, “where are you really from?” to express interest in your ethnic background.^[3]

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   • While this question may seem harmless, it can be triggering to people of color, especially in professional settings. Bringing up their ethnicity at work can make them feel alienated and magnify their differences from the majority demographic.^[4]
   • If you want to ask about someone’s ethnicity, be mindful of your tone and your relationship to the other person. Reserve this question for informal settings with close friends or acquaintances, and consider asking, “where is your family originally from?” to avoid confusion and/or possible offense.

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   Tell them the city, state, or country you grew up in. Whether you’re in a casual or professional setting, you can always respond to “where are you from?” with your hometown, or the region you grew up in. If you moved a lot as a kid, feel free to mention a few cities that you lived in, or pick a place that you resonate with the most.^[5]

   • “I was born and raised in Queens.”
   • “I grew up in a small town called Bisbee, which is in Arizona.”
   • “My family moved around when I was a kid, but I spent most of my childhood in Detroit.”
   • “My dad was in the military so I moved a lot growing up, but I’ve lived in Alabama, Texas, California, and Hawaii.”
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   Let them know what city, state, or country you currently live in. If you’re traveling, tell the other person about the place you call “home.” Feel free to include your birthplace (or the place you grew up in) if you’re living somewhere that has a drastically different culture or lifestyle to where you spent your childhood.^[6]

   • “I’m currently based in Auckland, New Zealand.”
   • “I was born and raised in Australia, but I now live in Japan.”
   • “I grew up in the French countryside, but I just moved to Berlin.”
   • “I’m originally from Brazil, but I’ve lived in New York for the past 12 years.”
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   Say where you grew up or currently live, followed by your ethnicity. If you feel comfortable sharing your ethnic background, respond to the question with the city, state, and/or country you grew up in (or currently live in), followed by the country your family is originally from. But, if you don’t feel comfortable, that’s perfectly okay—just say where you grew up or currently live, and leave it at that!^[7]

   • “I grew up in Italy, but my family is from Zimbabwe.”
   • “I’m from France, but my family is originally from Lebanon.”
   • “I’m from Los Angeles, but my parents are from Seoul, South Korea.”
   • “I was born and raised in Oregon, but the rest of my family are Venezuelan.”

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1. “Where do you come from?” is less common than “where are you from?” Both questions ask about the city, state, and/or country you grew up in (or currently live in), as well as your ethnic background.^[8] However, “where do you come from?” sounds grammatically awkward and confusing.

   • If you’re asking someone where they currently live, the question “where did you come from?” sounds more natural.
   • If you want to find out where they grew up, the questions “where are you from?” or “where did you grow up?” are more common.
   • If you want to ask about their ethnicity, the question “where is your family originally from?” sounds more respectful.

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   What’s your hometown? Whether you’re in a formal or informal setting, this question is a polite way to ask what city, state, and/or country someone grew up in. It’s simple, direct, and doesn’t imply that you’re interested in their ethnicity (which can be a touchy topic to some people).^[9]

   • You: “Oh, you just moved here? Me too! What’s your hometown?”
   • Them: “I was born and raised in Phoenix.”
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   If you don’t mind me asking, where do you live? Pull out this question in casual or formal settings when you want to find out what city, state, and/or country someone currently lives in. Prefacing the question with “if you don’t mind me asking” is an easy way to be polite and communicate that there’s no pressure for them to respond to you.

   • You: “I noticed you have an accent. If you don’t mind me asking, where do you live?”
   • Them: “I’m originally from France, but I moved to America this past spring. I currently live in Seattle, but I’m visiting my family here in Miami.”
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   What’s your story? If you want to express interest in someone’s life, ask this question to get to know them better. It’s a friendly way to find out where they grew up, the place they call “home,” and how they ended up in the same location as you. But, save this question for casual settings—it’s pretty inappropriate to bring up the workplace.

   • You: “What’s your story?”
   • Them: “I grew up in a small town in Michigan, but I moved to LA to become an actor. I’m working as a bartender at night so I can attend auditions during the day.”
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   Where is your family originally from? If you’re speaking to a close friend or casual acquaintance, use this question to ask about their ethnic background. Maintain good eye contact and open body language to be respectful, and don’t pressure them into explaining their heritage. If you notice they feel uncomfortable or awkward, move onto another topic to keep the conversation positive for everyone.

   • You: “You’re from Dallas? Nice, I’m from Austin! Where’s your family originally from?”
   • Them: “Cool! Most of my family is from France, but we’re Haitian.”

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