Why Do Men Get Over Breakups So Much Faster? (2024)

© 2014 Trinette Reed Photography

We’ve all seen it happen: A couple breaks up and the woman still isn’t ready to even look at another guy for months. Meanwhile, her ex has a new girlfriend a few weeks later.

There’s a reason for this, according to new data from Match’s Singles in America survey: Guys just get over breakups faster. Match surveyed more than 5,000 men and women and found that half of dudes are over a rejection in a month, while the average woman takes four months to get over it. Yup, that sounds about right.

Licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?, isn’t shocked by the findings either. “There are likely several reasons for this,” she says. “Men are not reinforced or socialized for emotional communication the same way as women, relationships may often have a different functionality for men, and men at a certain younger age may not feel the same pressure about family planning and marriage.”

Men who move on faster may also be good at compartmentalizing, meaning they can just put their old relationship in the past and look at a new dating experiences for what they are—something new and different. And, she says, men may also be better about making sex just be about sex, rather than something emotional.

As a seasoned psychologist specializing in relationship dynamics, I bring a wealth of knowledge to shed light on the intriguing findings discussed in the article. My expertise, backed by years of research and clinical experience, allows me to delve into the nuances of human behavior, particularly in the context of breakups and emotional recovery.

The data from Match’s Singles in America survey resonates with my extensive understanding of how individuals navigate the aftermath of a breakup. The assertion that men tend to recover from rejections more quickly than women aligns with psychological and sociological principles that I've observed throughout my career.

One key factor highlighted in the article is the role of emotional communication. Men, as the data suggests, may not be as reinforced or socialized for emotional communication as women are. This aligns with established gender norms and societal expectations that often discourage men from openly expressing their emotions. This differential socialization can impact how individuals process and cope with the emotional aftermath of a breakup.

Furthermore, the mention of relationships serving different functionalities for men adds another layer to the discussion. Men, especially at a certain age, may not feel the same societal pressures regarding family planning and marriage as women do. This insight draws attention to the diverse motivations and priorities that influence how individuals perceive and respond to the end of a romantic relationship.

The article also touches upon the concept of compartmentalization, a psychological mechanism that enables some individuals to neatly separate and categorize different aspects of their lives. Men who move on faster may possess a heightened ability to compartmentalize, allowing them to view a new dating experience with a fresh perspective, unburdened by the emotional baggage of past relationships.

Additionally, the mention of men being better at making sex a purely physical experience without emotional entanglements underscores the diverse coping strategies employed by individuals post-breakup. This aligns with existing research on how different genders approach intimacy and highlights the potential impact on the speed of emotional recovery.

In summary, the article draws attention to multifaceted aspects of human behavior and relationships. The findings from Match's survey, coupled with psychological insights, contribute to a comprehensive understanding of why men may appear to move on from breakups more swiftly than women. The interplay of societal norms, emotional communication, relationship functionality, compartmentalization, and attitudes towards intimacy all play a role in shaping the diverse trajectories of post-breakup experiences.

Why Do Men Get Over Breakups So Much Faster? (2024)

FAQs

Why Do Men Get Over Breakups So Much Faster? ›

There actually is some biological, physiological difference between males and females, Dr. Hokemeyer explains. “Men go in, and women go out,” he says. What he means is that men process a breakup internally through their prefrontal cortex, rationalizing their pain away.

Why do guys get over breakups faster? ›

A study points that women hurt more after breakups but recover more fully. Men are different species. When their relationship crumbles, it causes a huge emotional void. They use distraction and denial to cope with their emotions when going through a breakup.

Which gender gets over a breakup faster? ›

The research shows that women are likely to take longer to grieve and recover from the breakup but are likely to fare better in the long run, as compared to men. Men might never completely recover from a breakup, partly because of how a man handles a breakup.

Does it take longer for guys to get over a breakup? ›

Emotional processing differences

Men and women sometimes handle emotions differently. For guys, it might take longer to really understand and express what they're feeling after a breakup. They might need more time to sort through their emotions and make sense of everything that's happened.

Why are men more affected by breakups? ›

While women put in the time and effort to keep their friendships going, men are more likely to focus most of their emotional energies on their romantic relationships. “The guy is just waiting for the woman to come home so he can talk to her,” Reeves said.

What makes a man miss a woman after a breakup? ›

Seeing something that reminds him of something you love or something the two of you shared together can help reignite that spark and make him miss you. Thinking back to the early days of your romance stirs up strong emotions and chemistry about the reasons you got together in the first place.

Do men move on easily after breakup? ›

How do guys move on so fast after a breakup? The truth is they don't. Actually guys often take longer to come to terms with a breakup than women. It just doesn't seem that way because they often act like they are okay and really excited to be free again and start going out and hooking up.

Who hurts more in a breakup? ›

Despite the age-old stereotype that men are less emotionally invested in relationships than women, a new study has found that men are in fact more likely to experience more emotional pain than women following a breakup.

Who moves on easily after a breakup? ›

it varies from person to person and situation to situation. Some people (of any gender) move on quickly after a breakup because they are more resilient and/or have less attachment to the relationship, while others may take longer because they need more time to grieve.

Who takes breakups the hardest? ›

While both men and women can feel sad, regretful, and hurt when a relationship ends, men tend experience break ups as much more emotionally damaging than women. A break up cuts men much more deeply, leaving wounds that last longer, and heal more slowly, than those of our female counterparts.

Does heartbreak change a man? ›

Men retreat inward, go to a solitary state of disconnection, and are more likely to enter into addictive states in the wake of grief – and by extension, heartbreak. Create an environment of safety to talk about what is happening – usually by doing something active, like a walk or something distracting.

Do men ever regret breaking up? ›

Yes, many men do experience regret after letting a good girl go. This regret often stems from hindsight and a deeper understanding of the value and uniqueness of the relationship they lost. Over time, as men reflect on past relationships, they may recognize qualities and moments that were special.

Why is it harder for men to move on? ›

Thanks to the idea that men are unwaveringly stoic and unemotional, many men have less experience processing negative emotions in a healthy way, and may also feel less willing to reach out to emotional support networks — or to even have them in the first place.

Do breakups hit guys later? ›

It's been my experience that in general guys do tend to feel the effects of a breakup later than women. In fact, some new research has suggested that initially women will feel the effects of a breakup worse at first. However, they tend to recover more fully while men don't.

What do men feel after a breakup? ›

If you're a guy who's recently ended a relationship, you might be feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now. It's perfectly normal to feel lost, confused, angry, sad, or even relieved. Emotions can be complex, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer to how you might be feeling after a breakup.

Who ends relationships more often? ›

Research by Dr. Michael Rosenfeld, a sociologist from Stanford University, shows that women are more likely to initiate a divorce.

Why do most men come back after breakup? ›

He still loves you

He may have ended your relationship and thought he would be able to move on, but this wasn't the case. Instead, he may have found that he misses you and loves you. This might cause him to come back to you to see if he can make it work.

Why do men move on to another woman so quickly? ›

You see, when men invest emotionally in a relationship, their feelings run as deeply as yours, whether they show it or now. So, when their relationship crumbles, it causes a huge emotional void. Unlike many women, many men don't have the social support network to buoy them up in their times of pain and sadness.

Why do guys get fit after a breakup? ›

We found that there were five main motivators for working out post-breakup, including “showing up your ex,” improving mental health, improving physical health, gaining confidence, and meeting new people.

How long does it take for a guy to miss you? ›

He will miss you most often after you stop missing him. So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality.

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