15 Apr 2023 By: Diane Gottsman
I was recently on CBS Sunday Morning where I spoke with Nancy Giles about the latest in tipping etiquette. A bagel and coffee, a double espresso, a dinner out or delivered to your doorstep have suddenly come with silent “strings attached” with more and more people confused about who, what, where and how to tip in 2023. A recent article in New York Magazine quoted a manager of a restaurant having a conversation with guests when the tip was “surprising,” aka low. While it’s nice to have a boss who is your advocate and who will take the heat by embarrassing a guest on your behalf, it’s still not appropriate behavior. A better approach would be to spend some time and thought factoring in how to support servers who are working for less than minimum wage and depending on the gratuity as their income. I don’t know the answer to this question, but I do wonder what it would take to make up for the difference “in-house.” Someone is making money on that food bill, and if your server has been stiffed by a customer, there must be a way to help.
Another immense level of frustration is touchscreen or iPad tipping. It’s known as “guilt tipping” and has most people up in arms. There is a solution, and thankfully, it is not a complicated one. Decide what you are going to do in advance – use cash and skip the app, hit “no tip,” or leave a tip. Most people have a ballpark of what they will order and how much it will cost. The answer is to tip what you would tip if you were using cash. The problem is, we are prompted by large percentages and guilt clicks in. People also feel the pressure of others watching and they begin to question their better judgment. Trust your gut and tip what you are comfortable giving.
It’s important to remember that although there is a US “tipping standard,” not all people will abide by the suggestion, and tipping still remains discretionary. A win-win would be for patrons to tip generously and for the business to treat customers with respect and decorum.
The topic of tipping has never been more confusing. Here are a few updated standards for 2023 which include the DREADED iPad, on-screen tipping prompt.
2023 Tipping Guide – Cash – Apps – Tipping Jar
DELIVERY & DRIVE-THRU
- Food Delivery: 15% minimum and more depending on factors such as time of day, distance, weather, etc.
- Drive Thru Fast Food: Discretionary but not required
- Curbside Pickup: 10% minimum
- Coffee Shop Drive-Thru: At your discretion, can use the custom tip button to leave $1 or more, opt for the tip jar or smile and skip
DINING
- Sit-Down Restaurant Service: 15 to 20%
- Buffet Service: 10%
- Carry Out/To-Go Order: 10 to 20% depending on the complexity of the order involved
- Self-Serve Food/Ice Cream/Yogurt Bar: Tipping is discretionary – 5 to 10% is standard if you decide to tip
- Food Truck: 15 to 20% – the workers are hot, working hard and making everything while you wait
- Coffee Shop: Discretionary to tip counter workers, but can use the custom tip button to leave $1 or more or opt for the tip jar
- Bartender: Minimum of dollar per drink ($1 for beer, $2 for each co*cktail) if ordering singles or 15 to 20% when running a tab
- Tipping Jars: Discretionary but always nice to drop in extra change or dollars, depending on relationship and service provided
- Restroom Attendant: $1 to $5 per service – if they sew a hem or give you an emergency personal item. If they do nothing at all, you may smile and be gracious without a tip.
- Valet: $3 to $10, depending on the hotel, restaurant, or establishment (a tip is not part of the valet fee)
TRAVEL
- Curbside Concierge (Checks you in and takes your bag at the airport curb): Each airline has its own suggestions which will be displayed at the counter. If not, $3 for first bag and $2 each additional bag.
- Airport Wheelchair Service/Special Assistance: $3-$5
- Doorman: A friendly greeting is always appropriate, $2-$4 for hailing a cap, helping with luggage, and offering an umbrella or other polite services.
- Bellhop: $2-5 for one bag, $1-$2 for additional bag. If requesting an extra robe, luggage rack, ice, an additional $2-$3.
- Housekeeper: $2-$5 each day (do not wait until the end of your stay) with a note that says “For Housekeeping. Thank you.”
- Concierge: For answering simple questions, no obligation to tip. For securing reservations, theater tickets or other reservations, $10 and upwards for hard-to-get reservations or tickets.
- Courtesy Shuttle Driver: $2-$5
- Rental Car Shuttle Driver: $1-$2 per bag
- Taxi Driver: 15-20% of the fare
- Roadside Assistance/Towing Services: $10-$20
SALON/SPA/AESTHETICS
- Eyebrow Service: 15-25%
- Facial, Waxing, Massage: 15-20%
- Hair Salon: 15-20%, ask to be split among those who served you
- Lash Extension Technician: 15-20%
- Manicurist: 15-20%
- Tattoo Artist: 15-20%
*When using a coupon, tip on the original amount, not the discounted rate.
DO NOT TIP
- Airline Pilot
- Cable/IT professional
- Chiropractor
- Dentist
- Doctor
- Dry Cleaner
- Flight Attendant
- Injectors (BOTOX, Laser, etc.)
- Lawyer
- Law Enforcement
- Tailor
- Yoga/Pilates Teacher
What To Do if the Person You Are With Decides to Grossly Undertip:
When in this situation, feel free to make up the difference by saying, “Our server was excellent and I want to leave something, as well.” If it’s a good friend or family member, you can speak up. Remain discreet when with a client or boss. You can simply leave extra discreetly and as you excuse yourself to go to the restroom. If you know they are being undertipped, it’s a kind gesture to make it right.
For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.
You may also like How Much To Tip Delivery Drivers. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.
