Building Resilience After Divorce | California Divorce Guide (2024)

Understanding resilience means recognizing and facing the challenges that await you during and after your divorce with your head held high. Resilience is not a one-time occurrence; it’s an ongoing process of reflecting on your experiences and learning how to turn them into positive life developments.

Building resilience is an ongoing process of reflecting on your experiences and learning how to turn them into positive life developments.

You need to commit the time and effort required to get back to the real you, and the following strategies can help you recover from your divorce.

1. Re-Connect

Look to the friends and family members who stood by your side throughout your life. They know you the best, are always willing to lend an ear and provide activities to distract you from the pain of your divorce. Don’t just stick with old friends; make some new ones as well by signing up for clubs, taking up a new hobby, or simply network in social settings.

2. Acceptance

Acceptance is an essential part of the grieving process, as it is the final step in coming to terms with your divorce and its complications. Unfortunately, the past cannot be changed, but it can change your future for better or worse if you choose or decline to accept the reality before you.

3. Goal Setting

Now that you’ve let go of the past and accepted the present, prepare for the future by setting reasonable personal and professional goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is your future. A good practice is to complete one task every day that gets you closer to your chosen goal.

4. Stay Positive

Expecting the worst only hinders your ability to get over your divorce, and hurts those closest to you as well as yourself. Visualize what you want your future to be, look forward to having the whole world in front of you, and take that step forward.

5. Choose Your View

Bad things happen, and sometimes they can’t be prevented. However, the power to prevent an irrational reaction is all in your hands because you choose how you respond to stressful events. Work to deal with stress in a healthy way.

6. How Big of a Deal is it?

Even taking your divorce out of the picture, there are always petty fights and situations that don’t warrant a response. Some things aren’t important enough to dignify a reaction, and choosing whether or not to respond can be a metaphor for realizing what is important in life.

7. Become a Fan of YOU

You are your biggest advocate. Trust in yourself and work toward building your self-confidence after your divorce. Exercise, seek counseling, and accomplish goals that will help you build up that confidence.

8. Be Present

Detaching from life, people, and situations does not help you become resistant to adversity. When a stressful situation arises, take thoughtful actions. This means taking care of all your responsibilities and maintaining healthy relationships.

9. Learn

Your divorce certainly doesn’t feel like a positive past experience, but you need to try and find a silver lining on that cloud. Recognizing past mistakes, embracing the positive outcomes, and channeling them into self-improvement teaches you something about yourself and makes your current and future relationships more fulfilling.

10. Care for the Whole You

Think about how you are feeling every day. Notice the areas in your life that could be better and give yourself the tools to improve them. Journals, hobbies, new relationships, and meditation are examples of ways to become a stronger, better-rounded person.

Our firmis committed to handling your divorce in a delicate manner and defending your rights to property, finances, and emotional stability. Contact usto learn how they can help you through the California divorce process