How to Fulfill Your Civic Duty Without Losing Your Mind (2024)

Regardless of party affiliation, election cycles are likely to conjure up feelings of anxiety for many Americans. Now, with the first Tuesday in November less than 100 days out, panic may even be setting in for some. Between the bombardment of unceasing news and tense conversations looming, it can sometimes feel like civic engagement comes at the cost of self-care. But there is a way to have both. Dana Perino knows this intimately.

Perino has built a robust three-decade-long career in politics and news. She became the first female White House Press Secretary in a Republican administration under George W. Bush. Now, she serves as co-host of Fox News’ The Five and the lead female news anchor of America’s Newsroom. Between all of that, she has written three books: And the Good News Is…, Everything Will Be Okay, and Let Me Tell You About Jasper.

“I sort of thrive on the news, but I can see why some people don't,” she tells InStyle. Even so, she has found ways to unplug, take much-needed beats, and look after her mental and physical health—and, of course, play with her dog, a Hungarian vizsla named Percy.

Perino says when she worked on The Hill from 2006 to 2009, politics ran her life. Now, she has been able to find a healthy balance—and she feels better for it.

“There is responsibility that comes with being an American, and there's a huge amount of gratitude that we should have that we get to live here. That's why we have to preserve the union,” Perino says. “We owe each other some grace and ourselves some grace as we go through this election season. It's going to be a doozy, and it's going very quickly.”

InStyle: There seem to be two sides of the spectrum. People who think you have to be tapped into news 24/7, and people who find news too overwhelming and turn away completely. Is there a middle ground?

Dana Perino: I think that there is. I have some friends who are a good example of this, probably since the 2020 election, who have really throttled down on news coverage by choice. They will ask me, "What should I pay attention to?" It's one of the reasons I created the “Perino on Politics” podcast because I wanted to try to do two things: One, I wanted to be efficient with my own time. The concept of the podcast is I would be calling these smart people anyway. They're my friends—they're people I trust, they're people who work in the business whose word I take seriously, their credibility is not in question with me, and I also enjoy their company. So my idea was: Why don't people just listen along?

I'm thinking of my friend, Michelle. She doesn't need to know all the nitty gritty about how a bill became a law, et cetera. But she needs to know what happened, why will it matter to her or to her children, and what could happen next.

InStyle: What are your tips for people, but especially women, to stay informed while maintaining their mental peace, especially with women's issues on the ballot?

DP: I would encourage them to find a news source that they trust that they can look at every day with whatever level of granularity or detail they're looking for. There's so many different options. Fox News has a new product called “Fox News Morning Headlines.” It's the email that I get and it'll have headlines and links. If you read the headlines, you can kind of get a sense of what's going on; if you want to go deeper, you can click on the link. I subscribe to lots of different things so that I can get a good sense of what's going on across the board.

There are also some great podcasts out there, and women are often very busy, so multitasking is super important. “Kennedy Saves The World”—that's a good podcast where you get a little news, but it's also fun. I also really like “Honestly” by Bari Weiss. Dan Senor has a podcast called “Call Me Back,” and I always listen to that. I think that's what women want, which is: How can I stay informed while also getting my steps in or paying attention to my kid who is running around the little league field and being able to feel like, “Okay, I learned something that I hadn't heard before”? And the great thing about [podcasts are] if you find someone's voice is driving you crazy, you can turn it off or you can speed it up.

InStyle: How do you keep yourself afloat and healthy during heavy news cycles, negative coverage, and marathon work hours?

DP: I find discipline in my routine to be super important for my well being. I also find there is freedom in being disciplined. That sounds like a little bit of a contradiction, but if I have principles and a routine and discipline, that means that I'm not swayed back and forth.

I have a weird schedule. I work 9 to 11 a.m. on air [for America’s Newsroom], which means I usually do two hours of prep for a one hour show. I get up around 4:45 in the morning, I check the news, and then I do some sort of exercise between 5:15 and 6 [a.m.]. At 6:10, after some stretching and more checking of the websites, I wake up my husband and the dog, and I go shower and get ready, and that's when I listen to my podcast. I have my first [work] call at 6:45. After the show, I will do something like this [interview]. I always have some sort of an appointment during the day—I am taking ballroom dancing lessons just for fun. It gets me off my phone for 90 minutes, and that has been wonderful. Then, I come back to the office at 3:30 to get ready for The Five.

The other thing I've added into my routine—I'm not going to say daily because I don't always make it—but I love the guided meditations on the Peloton app. Sometimes I just need 10 minutes to clear my mind. I like the ones that talk about gratitude and courage and acceptance. It sort of resets my day so that I can keep going.

Having a lot of discipline, a lot of exercise, and nutrition is key. This is something I did not do well [during my years] at the White House. I lived on caffeine, I didn't eat much. If I did, sometimes it was like I could live on chocolate. I think back to how much better I would've done in my work if I had been more mindful of nutrition.

InStyle: Are you able to separate politics and your job from other aspects of your life—when you take your dog for a walk, when you go to dinner with your friends?

DP: I have a rule: No politics at the dog park. For the most part, people in New York don't even care what you do for a living. I've loved that about living here. If anyone ever does want to talk politics with me at the dog park, I always say, "Oh, sorry, I don't talk politics at the dog park," and they laugh and they move on. Even at dinner with friends, I find that if I'm not instigating it, then I don't really have a lot of people asking me about it.

I wrote in Everything Will Be Okay that politics is what I do for a living and I love it, but it is not my life. I would say during those White House years, it was my life, and I had to have a big reset. If you work in the White House—I don't care which administration it is—you are dedicated. And I loved it, but it does give me a healthy sense of how I can balance [now]. I love to work—I could work 18 hours a day, it doesn't bother me—but sleep also has to be a priority. That's another reason I'm disciplined. It kills me sometimes, especially when it's light outside, for me to say at 8:30, 8:45 [p.m.], "I’ve got to power down. I’ve got to turn off the TV. I’ve got to go read my novel." But I do think there is a way to separate it.

InStyle: Studies showed peaks in self-reported symptoms of anxiety and depression, mental health-specific visits, and prescription drug usage around the 2020 election. Studies also show that voting and civic engagement can lead to positive things, like sense of community. Right now, people are stressed, frightened, and exhausted. How can we get ourselves and others to feel better about being civically engaged?

DP: I have a sense that most people are not as polarized in their real lives as they perceive the polarization to be. Because in their own lives, they're friendly with their neighbors, they get along with people at work. It's when you ask people about anything they see online that tends to enrage people. Sometimes you have to find a cause that's bigger than yourself. If I'm involved in helping somebody else, like helping older foster care children figure out their next step forward [through the Selfless Love Foundation], that is civic engagement. That doesn't necessarily have to do with who's going to be the next president. Helping other people is [also] the very best way to keep your own mental health better. One of the keys to getting out of your own head is doing something: meeting someone, perhaps you're going to church or to a networking event, getting off the phone and actually talking to people.

InStyle: How can we be more politically involved without it feeling like a chore or a time suck? I know philanthropy is important to you.

DP: You find something that works for you and works for your timeframe, and think, How could I be the most useful? Maybe you're a really good accountant and perhaps [an organization you like] needs a little bit of help. I have a few friends who are lawyers who are spending their weekends, not all weekends, but a Saturday morning, helping people at family court because let's just say: You're going through a divorce, you're working on childcare payments, but you can't afford a lawyer. There are these organizations where lawyers can donate their time—that exists for everyone. My dance teacher volunteers to help Alzheimer's patients because dancing really helps those symptoms. I see people with their individual talents figuring out a way, "How can I help you here, here, and here?" There are these little pockets of good that you can find all around, but you do have to participate and look for them. Democracy is a participatory sport.

InStyle: When people consume news, and it's just making them feel awful, how can they stay positive?

DP: Well, sometimes I think it's okay to feel sad and feel the feelings. I remember during the Afghanistan war withdrawal, that was a hard few weeks because there were all these Americans who were stuck there. We were interviewing them, and you could feel pretty heavy with the news at the end of the week. Again, I think walking, taking a tennis lesson, going to dance…I learned this from Condoleezza Rice years ago; she said humans can't get rid of stress without movement.

InStyle: Even more than reading about politics, people fear talking about politics because of intense polarization. When we do choose to engage, how do we keep conversations productive and fulfilling? How do we find the common ground?

DP: A very undervalued skill is listening. I found using language like, "That's interesting that you think about things that way. Tell me more,” and then preventing yourself from interrupting someone you disagree with. That is so hard, but it's so important. A good way to keep yourself from interrupting someone is to hold your finger over your mouth because it's a reminder to wait and listen, and that way you can focus on their words. A lot of people will respect being listened to. They don't necessarily agree or they don't expect you to agree with them, but to be heard is interesting. Plus, you might learn something. The other thing is to have some factual information at your fingertips and not fake it—but I don't like throwing statistics back in somebody's face.

When I was press secretary, let's say somebody asked me a question that was either difficult to answer or we didn't have a good answer. I might say something like, "I understand why you're asking the question, I do. Let me reframe it in a different way to how I see it." Just a little bit of language that says, "I hear you. I'm listening. I'm paying attention, and I want you to come with me as I explain it in a slightly different way," can smooth a lot of conversations. I do have some personal experience with a couple of family members who don't talk about politics at all, and in some ways they don't talk anymore. That's unfortunate because politics is not why we are here.

InStyle: When there's so much actual news you need to pay attention to, how do you cut through the noise?

DP: I try to look at trusted sources. I trust our reporters here at Fox News and the Wall Street Journal; the Associated Press, New York Times, Washington Post. Typically, I'll trust up to a point, but I would never repeat anything unless I confirm it for myself. I think that those brands are really important to news credibility. Journalists certainly have a responsibility here to try to get things right, not just always be first. It's nice to be first, but being accurate is even more important. I live in a little bit of fear that I will air a deepfake video without knowing it. We are entering into a period of real danger, I believe, in people not believing things that they see or hear because these deepfakes are getting so good.

InStyle: How can we extend ourselves and others grace?

DP: A few years ago for New Year's, it was my resolution that I would be more gracious to others, even if it was silently. On the subway, I'd put my phone in my pocket and I would look around and I would say a little prayer or a little affirmation for each person I saw. It became a habit, and it really helps. Let's say someone has a uniform on and they're going to go work at a fast food restaurant. I would say, "I hope all the customers are really nice to her today." I don't necessarily say it out loud, but I try to do that a little bit because it can get a little overwhelming living here with so many people and everybody's in a rush. It really opened my eyes and my heart.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.