Lisa · Follow
11 min read · Oct 10, 2023
Do you want your ex-boyfriend back even though you’re facing an uphill battle?
Don’t give up hope!
With a little sleuthing and creativity, there are many ways to get your ex-boyfriend back.
Check out these tips for how to get your ex-boyfriend back, even if it seems impossible:
- Disappear from his life for a little while
The best way to get your ex-boyfriend back is to remove yourself from the situation — at least for a little while.
He is likely angry at you and sees your presence as a nuisance. He doesn’t need you in his life to remind him of whatever went wrong between you two.
That’s why you need to take a step back and simply allow him time to cool off.
The more time passes without you in the picture, the more he will begin to miss you and have those feelings of longing for you to return.
By contrast, if you contact your ex-boyfriend right away, your gesture will come off as desperate and only reinforce his negative feelings about you.
He won’t want to hear from you for a while, so don’t be surprised if he ignores your texts or calls at first.
So, do yourself a favor and wait a while — even if it’s against what your heart desires.
2) Work on improving yourself this time
Here’s the thing:
Although you might lack the motivation to take care of yourself right now, you have to do it. There’s really no point in trying to skip this step.
Why is this so important?
When a breakup occurs, there’s usually not only one person to blame. In this regard, it is essential to understand what you did wrong and how to fix it.
Maybe you were selfish or rude. Maybe you weren’t listening to his needs and desires. Perhaps you didn’t give him the attention that he needed.
However, it is unlikely that someone can fix one’s own shortcomings and change for the better overnight.
What you need to do is make a concerted effort to become a more positive person, learning from your mistakes and choosing to be more thoughtful and understanding in the future.
Sure, you might be deep in the dumps right now, but try your best to get yourself together and work on improving yourself — inside and out.
Your ex is not going to want a relationship with a person who does the same mistakes and doesn’t take care of herself.
He’s already walked away from you once, so he’s going to be even more reluctant to give it another go if you don’t make any progress.
3) Induce a “fear of loss” in your ex-boyfriend
Want to know another effective way to get your ex-boyfriend back, even if it seems impossible?
You need to induce a “fear of loss” in him.
Don’t worry, this isn’t as complex as it sounds. Basically, you just want to make your ex-boyfriend worried that you’ll be out of his life for good.
How? Send this “No Communication” text
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one needs to be sent to your ex-boyfriend at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with him, that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need him to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex-boyfriend which will trigger their attraction to you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, and for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex-boyfriend want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
4) Start hanging out with common friends again
Let’s say a month has passed since you last spoke to your ex-boyfriend. You’re now more optimistic and better-looking. You’ve solved some of your issues and you’re ready to move to the next phase.
What’s that? Find an indirect way to get in touch with your ex-boyfriend.
The best way to get around this is by hanging out with common friends again. However, make sure you’re going to large get-togethers where you don’t have to interact with your ex-boyfriend.
Why? Because talking to him is not the purpose here. In fact, there are three aspects that you should consider:
Actually enjoying yourself with your friends;
Displaying your new, improved self;
Inducing fear of permanent loss by flirting with other guys.
You want to create the impression that you are having an amazing time, and that you are doing just fine without him. By doing this, you will definitely make your ex-boyfriend miss you and regret his decision to leave.
You will trigger lots of emotions within him, making him confused and unsure. This will make him think about you, and also increase your chances of getting him back!
Fair warning: If you broke up because you cheated on him, making him jealous won’t work.
5) Make small talk if you see him
Look: it doesn’t matter how long your relationship lasted, what you two went through, or how much you love him; you still have to act casual if you run into him.
You don’t want to look as if you’re desperate and out of control, but on the other hand, you don’t want to come across as a total stranger either.
Give your ex-boyfriend a friendly smile and light-hearted eye contact when you run into him. Say “Hi” and ask how things are going.
Keep your interaction short and have fun by showing off your new self.
He will be impressed by your confidence and he’ll see that you’re doing just fine without him.
Why is this good?
Because it will make him miss you and want to reconnect with you. And that’s exactly what you want, too!
6) Or send him a simple text asking how he’s doing
If you don’t want to risk a face-to-face encounter with your ex-boyfriend, try sending him a simple text message.
It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate; just shoot him a quick text asking him how he’s doing.
Avoid making this into an elaborate text message. Instead, keep it short and sweet.
The next thing you want to do is wait for your ex-boyfriend to text you back. Once he does so, send him a brief reply, being friendly but not overly emotional.
If you’re too emotional, it might scare him off or make him think that you’re trying too hard.
Also, don’t reply the minute he texts you back. This would give him the impression that you’re too eager to talk to him again.
However, if he doesn’t text you back, don’t send him another text. You don’t want to seem needy or desperate.
7) Make patience your best friend
The long-term plan is to make your ex-boyfriend miss you and want you back, but before you do this, you have to make sure that he doesn’t think that you’re a crazy person.
That’s why it’s essential to keep this phase of your attempts light. You don’t want him to see the pain and desperation in your eyes, so no matter how badly you miss him, try not to show it.
Instead, make patience your best friend.
The cool thing about patience is that it gives you perspective. You realize that you don’t have to rush into anything too soon because things might take time to work out these days.
Sometimes you just have to be patient and allow things to develop as they should. This is a great realization that will help keep you chill when he doesn’t text back right away.
8) Paint a new picture of what your life together could be like
Did you get him talking? Great. Now, you need to take the next step and make your ex-boyfriend slowly want you back.
To do this, you only need to change the emotions he associates with you and make him picture what a brand new relationship with you would look like.
In his excellent short video, James Bauer gives you a step-by-step method for women who want to change the way their ex-boyfriend feels about them. He reveals the texts you can send and things you can say that will trigger deep feelings inside him.
Because once you paint a new picture of what your life together could be like, you could end up creating the relationship you’ve always dreamt of.
Watch his excellent free video here.
9) Show your ex-boyfriend that you’ve changed
It’s time to show your ex-boyfriend that you’ve changed. In fact, you want him to see a whole new version of you — one that he could be proud of.
How do you do this?
First, focus on showing him that you’ve corrected your personal issues and are now a better person.
You want to show him that you’ve gotten yourself together; that you’re no longer selfish; that you are more mature, etc.
Next, show him how you’ve improved your skills and become an even better version of yourself. You want to reveal the new and improved version of yourself.
Finally, show him that you are more open and willing to join in with activities he enjoys — laze around the house with him, go out with friends together, etc.
You want to show him that you are willing to try new things, crave new experiences, and work on your relationship.
If you’ve gotten through all of this, then your ex-boyfriend will definitely get the idea that you are different.
And guess what? It’ll be very difficult for him to resist this feeling! And he’ll desire to get back with you.
10) Don’t put pressure on him
Don’t put pressure on him. And try not to act desperate or overly emotional.
Why? Because you want to avoid looking and acting like someone who’s out of control and desperate.
It’s important to behave and express yourself in an open, friendly, yet non-desperate manner. You want to show him that you’re okay with the way things are right now, but that you’re also interested in taking things further.
You see, we put a lot of pressure on our ex-boyfriends because we want to force them to feel something they don’t want to feel. We have this deep desire of wanting them back in our lives right away, and this is why we pressure them.
But that’s not the way to go! You have to keep in mind that you’re dealing with a wounded man who’s still not sure whether he wants to be with you again or not.
And this is why you need to be strong during this phase. Don’t put pressure on him. Give him some time — but don’t wait too long either.
11) Stay consistent in your efforts to get him back
When all else fails, you don’t want to give up, do you?
Instead, remember that it’s the consistency of your efforts that will get you the results that you want.
This is what will prove to your ex-boyfriend that you’re serious about getting him back.
It’ll help you overcome every setback, and will see you through every situation that’s difficult to deal with. It’ll also show him that you’re not going to give up easily.
In case you have a history of not being able to keep your promises, it’s important that you keep this in mind.
Why? Because if he sees that you’re consistent, he’ll slowly begin to trust you again and see you as a reliable person.
And that’s exactly what you want to happen. It’s also important to remember that you have to stick with it until he responds positively.
12) Keep a positive mindset and don’t stir up drama
If you tend to get angry when things don’t go your way, then it’s time to change that pattern.
Anger comes from a place of frustration, which is something you should try to avoid. Instead of getting frustrated when things don’t go your way, try to stay in a positive mindset, and think positive thoughts.
Such positive thinking will help you. It’ll help you stay positive and not stir up drama, which is something that will only make things worse.
The moment you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated with him, it’s time to stop. Why? Because you don’t want to do anything that would trigger his defenses against you.
This is why it’s so important for you to keep your cool, even when things don’t go the way that you had hoped for.
13) Have fun with your ex-boyfriend
Have fun with him!
This is something that you must remember as your ex-boyfriend starts to realize how much he misses you.
By doing this, you’re trying to show him that you’re not in a situation of desperation, but rather, one of hope. You want to make things fun so that he realizes he missed out on something good by leaving things the way they are now.
When you’re fun and light-hearted, it allows you to be happy with him around. You feel great whenever you’re having fun together. And this is something that’s worth the effort, isn’t it?
14) Take a moment to remember the good times
Besides patience, you can make nostalgia your best friend, too! How so?
Well, you can use it in your favor. Make your ex-boyfriend nostalgic by taking a moment to remember the good times that you shared.
You can recall any of those great memories that you both had together, and bring back the good vibes from these memories.
Ask him about certain memories you shared, and make him remember them.
If the two of you were great friends before, it’s easy for you to use nostalgia to help him realize that he still has feelings for you.
15) Work on creating a deeper emotional connection with him
Next, create a deeper emotional connection with him. This is yet another step that can help you get your ex-boyfriend back.
How?
You want to show him that there’s no place for fear or unanswered questions in your relationship; that once again, there is an emotional connection between the two of you. And that means that it’s safe for him to open up his heart to you again.
Look: when it comes down to it, all of this depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into this.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
