Navigating new love: 9 subtle green flags to look for in the early stages of dating (2024)

Today, many of us are quick to spot red flags in potential partners and relationships we observe developing around us. Conversely, green flags tend to receive far less attention. In dating, a red flag is an early indicator of an unhealthy relationship or a problematic partner; a green flag is a behaviour or personal trait that suggests the person you are seeing is likely to be healthy, mature and generally attractive in the future. The idea that green means "good to go" and red means "stop and watch out" is the basic source of the phrases.

Understanding the red flags in a relationship can be crucial to preventing negative outcomes. But it's just as important for us to be able to recognise the green flags in a relationship. In this way, we can begin to gravitate towards those who display these positive traits and increase our chances of being in relationships that genuinely make us feel good. (Also read: Dos and don'ts of texting in dating: Tips for navigating modern romance through your smartphone )

9 subtle green flags when dating someone new

Talia, a popular dating and relationship coach shared in her recent Instagram post nine subtle green flags to identify when dating some new.

1. You don't think about them all-day

When someone isn't triggering your attachment system, you're going to feel calmer and more present when you're apart and not preoccupied with the relationship.

2. There's not much tension

Hanging out feels natural, easy and peaceful, not full of tension. Remember, healthy relationships will feel good for your nervous system (calming). You won't feel like you're on edge.

3. They're open, not defensive

When you share your opinions, dreams, and fears, when you call them out or say anything vulnerable, they hear what you're saying and don't dismiss, devalue or defend.

4. They apologize

Even if it's for something small. If you express any discomfort or hurt early on, they actually give you a real apology. If they never apologize? Run.

5. They don't take it personally when you're busy

If you're making plans with them but you have a lot going on, they won't act out or take it personally that you actually have friends, family and other things in your life that need attention.

6. You feel safe showing up as yourself

You're not worried about what they'll think if you reveal certain things about yourself, you can share thoughts, opinions and more without worrying about their reactions.

7. They can take a compliment

Notice how they talk about other people in their life. Positively? Negatively? When you say something nice about them, do they say "thanks" or brush it off? Do they notice and say anything nice about you?

8. How they treat their friends and family

Do they ignore their calls or talk with them often? What do they do when they hang out with friends? This just says so much about a person and can be a huge green flag. (Obviously, this is case by case depending on family dynamics)

9. They say 'yes

When you suggest a date idea or something you want to try, they're open to it because YOU enjoy it, even if it's not their thing. Same if you want to talk about something - they're open to it, not shutting you down.